An important anniversary

The 21st of June marked one year since the launch of Wise at Any Age - a project of love and dedication that I embarked upon the day my psychologist told me I no longer had Panic Disorder.

The day of my launch my life was experiencing the most incredible combination of emotions. There was worry, uncertainty and sadness as the city I was born in declared a state of emergency due to flooding. And there was utter elation, joy and happiness to be a published author, finally, after dreaming of it since childhood.

There was also gratitude, kindness and warmth from new friends and old, dancing in public and celebrating together. Covering it all there was genuine happiness - to be alive, to be free, and to be loved. 

When I began writing Wise at Any Age I had no idea what it would become. I was merely attempting to capture the shear volume of epiphanies, revelations and profound realizations I had experienced in a short span of time following the end of my first relationship of great significance.

Looking back, and flipping through the pages of that very first print proof I got in the post, I can honestly say that what I put in there is still so very applicable. But I can also say I've grown so much in the last year. Something I am both proud and humble about.

Proud because I remain open to learning and I'm doing my best to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. We can be given all the tools in the world to wake up and become more open to our experiences but if we don't apply them it amounts to very little, if anything at all.

I'm humble too, though. I'm humble because I can see how much more I can open. I can see it simply because I know how much I've changed in the last year alone. If I thought the growth I went through to write Wise at Any Age was significant, this past year has been akin to an acorn becoming a twelve foot oak in a matter of months. Just think how open a person can become in five year, or ten.

I find myself unable to capture my experience so easily with words these days, but also happy to let it remain something felt. It's like a deep knowing in my bones - a greater understanding than I realised I was capable of and yet, insignificant to how open we can be.

I have had the great fortune to meet certain people who radiate this openness in ways I aspire to. They are profoundly wise but also incredibly child-like.

A single flower can captivate their attention in one moment whilst they speak to crowds of hundreds intimately in the next. They are incredibly present for whatever is going on around them but never arrogant about what they have come to understand. In fact, the greater their understanding the more they want to teach, so those around them can experience the same awareness and presence.

When I wrote Wise at Any Age I was almost creating notes for myself - something to act as a reminder of what I grasped intellectually and knew would heal me. I've discovered the result of application now and I am hungry
to teach, to share, to enthuse.

I appreciate the motivation of these great teachers because even a glimpse of this openness is enough to make us want to share it with the world. There is no value in not sharing it because it is vast and endless and if we could all learn the root of happiness and genuinely understand it, we would never hurt each other. 

How to be fully human

Nelson Mandela died on December 5^th, 2013.

He was aged 95.

He lived a long life full of great accomplishments.

He was no different from you or me. Nelson Mandela didn’t fight for black rights. He didn’t fight for South Africa. He didn’t fight against Apartheid.

Nelson Mandela fought to create a world in which we can all appreciate our shared experience.

The world is not a sadder place for him not being physically present in it. It’s a better place for him having lived so well, taught so widely, and loved so genuinely, even those who many would call ‘enemy’.

Nelson Mandela is a lesson in forgiveness – he is a human being, just as you are. Just as I am. He is an example to us all.

Nelson Mandela
July 1918 - December 2013
Illustration from Wise at any Age

Dualism

On the day of my book launch I had many lovely assistants join me for public dancing throughout several of London's more popular squares. They danced alongside me but they also ran around handing out cards promoting Wise at any Age, letting people know why we were dancing publicly.

One of my lovely assistants told me that a man had asked who, of the group of us, had written the book and when she pointed me out he said, "Her? What can she know about wisdom?"

Wisdom comes from so many places

Well, that's the thing about wisdom. It's not dualistic. It's not a matter of a person either being wise or not being wise. There is no either/or.

Wisdom comes to us in many ways - examples of this are shown in Wise at any Age - and no one is without it. Wisdom is when we have awareness and presence of mind about a situation or experience. It's when we know the right thing to say or when to remain silent. It's knowing when to intervene and when to step back. We are all wise to varying degrees, just as we can all be foolish to varying degrees.

What I know about wisdom is that it's something anyone can cultivate and that all of us possess. Like little seeds inside of us, wisdom just needs the right moment to start sprouting and every one of us has full-grown trees, saplings and tiny sprouts of wisdom, as well as unsown seeds that are waiting for the right moment.

It's official!

Hallowe'en is over, Remembrance day has passed, the clocks have gone back and the days are shorter.
I still think it's a bit early and I don't want to be obnoxious but given that I wrote and published it myself no one else is gonna promote my book so...

Need a fabulous gift for someone on your list? Looking for something a bit different than usual? Something fun and interesting and thought provoking?

How about a lovely illustrated handbook about cultivating wisdom?!

Ta DA!!!

You can get a copy for yourself too, if you fancy it.
I'm all about self gifting at Christmas! 

Good mental health

'Diaries of a Broken Mind'
Screen capture from BBC3

BBC has been running a series of different mini-documentaries on mental illness. I decided to watch a few of them through iPlayer because I'm always fascinated by the way the media portrays mental illness and because it's also been on my mind quite a lot since the release of Wise at any Age - which was inspired by my own experience with an anxiety disorder and depression.

The last show I watched was called Diaries of a Broken Mind and it followed several people under the age of 30 as they described their lives with everything from anorexia to agoraphobia.

Almost all of them said they 'hated it' or that they just wished they could be 'normal' and towards the end of the documentary they were asked this question:

Would you get rid of your condition if you could? 

This statement says so much about how far too many people view mental illness, including those who  currently have one.

This statement presupposes that all mental illness is somehow incurable.

As it was, I began writing what would become Wise at any Age the day I was told I no longer had a disorder, which is why this question irks me so. I no longer suffer from Panic Disorder and haven't experienced a bout of depression in over five years - just like I don't have shingles anymore or a cold or the flu or any other number of illnesses I've experienced.

Mental illness, just like any illness, isn't necessarily a chronic condition. Like any illness, it requires a great level of care and balance to recuperate from it and like any other illness, it can come up again.

Because of my anxiety I learned how important it is to love yourself first and best. Because of my anxiety I learned to listen to my gut and trust my own sense of reason. Because of my anxiety I have learned how important it is to pay attention. Because of my anxiety I have learned that I am resilient, capable, and entirely able to recover, grow, and change.

I know a lot of people will question how someone aged 28 came to write a book about wisdom. The entire point I'm making is that we can and will gain wisdom at any point in our lives, if we're paying attention to the lessons and looking at the world with curiosity. In the BBC Mini-Series Don't Call Me Crazy a thirteen year old makes the very wise observation:

"OCD doesn’t define who I am. I like music, I like playing the guitar, I like bands, I like the colour yellow, I like chocolate… I don’t like them because I have OCD. I like them because I am Emma"

So here's a question I'm throwing out there - taking into account that even those with something chronic can create coping mechanisms and a support network that will help them recover from a hopeless place: 

What have you learned from your experience with mental illness? 

My mum, the book agent

I have an amazing family. I really, really do. Wise at any Age includes many mentions of them and how they have influenced my own wisdom growth spurts. My mum gets quite a few special mentions throughout and perhaps that is why she sent out an email to all her co-workers inviting them to place order for the book through her to help reduce shipping costs (She ended up with 30 orders!) or perhaps it's because she's an incredibly good mother and that's just what good mothers do.

Either way, I admit it brought tears to my eyes when she told me all this work she was doing to promote my first published book. She sent me the email so I could see how she did the 'pitch' - seriously, mother's make great agents - and at the bottom she included her own little version of my 'author bio':

To provide a bit about Kait and her published book . . .

The book is a non-fiction and is well written.  Kait comes from a family of fluent readers and in 2011, became the only person within our family and amongst our friends to beat her dad at number of books read in the year.  She did commit to breaking the record so she would be able to say she had at least once in her lifetime out read her dad.  Kait read 67, Julian 65.  {If you are interested in the list, I have her list along with a critique of each one}   In 2012 Julian took back the lead as he read over 70 books; 2013 is looking fine as well with 49 so far and no vacation taken yet which affords him even more time to read.   

My parents often get asked what they did to have their kids turn out like my brother and I have. I know we are by no means perfect but I also know that both of us have talents that have never been squashed and aspirations that have never felt hopeless.

I'm sure there are very specific things I could say that my parents did and I often do provide examples of a cause and effect nature to share how I came to learn a particularly good lesson. But over and above all of that the thing my parents did was love me unconditionally. They loved me regardless of the giant mess my room was or how terrible my marks in math were or how obnoxiously angsty I know I must have been as a teenager. They love me and they believe in me and they always taught me to love and believe in myself too.

Genuine Appreciation

In Wise at any Age there's a section at the back where I've thanked some of the key people who helped me as I wrote, edited, and designed the book. I titled this section 'Genuine Appreciation'. Being genuine is about being completely honest and open and the appreciation I feel for so many is more than a simple sense of gratitude. It's an incredibly profound awareness that I wouldn't be the Creative Polymath I am without the love and support of so many.

As it is, I've got some more Genuine Appreciation to spread around because I've been getting some really brilliant love and support since the release of my book.

I want to thank Jana, the think-tank behind Ladies Who Impress, who wrote this smashing blog entry about me and has also given Wise at any Age a review. She's an incredible ball of energy who seems capable of anything and everything she puts her mind to so praise from someone like her is a bit humbling.

Some uber geek with my book...

I also want to thank Natalie, who stars in the video of my book release and who recently finished reading her own copy. She posted an amazing review, which emphasizes why I wrote the book in the first place. I wrote it to be loved, drawn in, explored, argued with, and thought about. Thus far the feedback I've had has shown me that it's doing all these things. I wrote the book to make people think, to challenge their ideas of how to cultivate wisdom and who is capable of it. That she enjoyed it so much and has made it her own with scribbles in the margins means so much to me.

Thank you again to everyone who continues to make this book more than I imagined. For me it was enough just to have something I'd written in paper form, bound and ready to share with the world. The fact that so many of you are enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together is like gold dust on top of an already amazing dream come true.

Progress!

Following the print publication of Wise at any Age I have thrown myself into converting my book into an ePub. Arguably, it works better as a paper copy given the 'hands-on' approach I present.

*As an aside, I am thrilled by all the posts and messages I've been getting from people showing me how they are using Wise at any Age - Love to see it being scribbled in and noted upon.

My mum with her copy of Wise at any Age
One would think she was quite proud, no? 

But I know that there are those of you who prefer an eReader and are unlikely to ever purchase a paper copy of any book ever again. I also know that it's a good way to get the book out there - spread the love, so to speak - given that it broadens the scope of where it can be seen and by whom.

So I plug along with it. But I unfortunately can't give you a release date.

At the moment it's been validated according to all the work I did on it in InDesign and what I've been able to export from that end. But now comes the second bit, which involves editing the actual code of the ePub as an HTML document.

Lost me there? Don't worry, I hardly understand it myself just yet. But I'm working on it, diligently.

Naked Blogging - Continued

In my last entry I wrote about The Bloggess and the idea of Naked Blogging. If you've not read it I recommend you do - especially as I've provided such a handy link for you to follow. As soon as you're done come back and read this one.

Right, so this is my Naked Blog entry. This is the story of how and why I came to write Wise At Any Age, which you can buy by following this link:

A person's life is not made up of sequential incidents and experiences. All of our stories overlap and within that overlap there are tangents and offshoots and different trouser legs. You can go back along your life and try to figure out where something started and eventually you get to the point where you were born and you realise you won't know the end until you die. And then you'll be dead and you can't write it down. 

For that reason I've decided to start where I am now by sharing just a small selection of things I have come to learn through my experience (There are a lot more included in Wise at Any Age).

1. Life really is what you make it, and other cliches - When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. That means when life gives you something sour and potentially unpleasant you can either whinge or you can take it and make a delicious refreshing drink. You don't have to make lemonade. You could make lemon meringue pie; you could make lemon tarts; you could make lemon chicken. Your choice. 

2. There is nothing wrong with feeling emotions: It's O.K. to be scared. It's O.K. to get angry. It's O.K. to feel sad. It's O.K. to grieve. It's normal, actually. If you didn't have these feelings I'd be worried. What's not O.K. is ignoring them or reacting to them mindlessly. And no one is happy 100% of the time. 

3. There are no rules. Life is messy and accidental and there is no single 'right' way to go about living yours. 

4. I don't know who said it - the interweb is notorious for mis-labelling quotes - but I couldn't put it better: Don't worry so much about what other people think. Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. 

5. It's O.K. to ask for help! Asking for help doesn't automatically mean you lack competency or that you're incapable or needy. It means you accept that you can't always do everything on your own. 

And here's a big one:

6. You deserve your own love, compassion and respect more than anyone else on the planet. 

Disclaimer: My story is not unique in that a lot of people have had the experiences I've had. But the way I experienced it is mine but what I learned from it is universally beneficial. It's also not over so I know I will continue to learn a great many things as I continue to have a great many experiences. This is something I demonstrated with an animation I did in 2012 called '27 Things'. You can go watch it on my website. 

I was a really happy, well-adjusted kid. I was born and raised in the same house, I have loving parents and a loving brother. I grew up in a great neighbourhood with some brilliant friends, some of whom I am lucky enough to still have in my life. 

When I entered Junior High I could be what one might describe as 'naive'. My upbringing hadn't been sheltered, exactly, but it was safe from a lot of the realities of the world. To be honest, I love my parents for that more than they could possibly know. 

As it was, my naiveté left me ill-prepared for the cruelty of junior high (Middle school for the Americans and ages 13-15 for UK readers) and the relentless verbal bullying for which girls seem to have such a great talent. My coping skills weren't great and I experienced my first bouts of depression. 

I am a born survivor; We all are. I'm stubborn and solution focused. It took a year and a half but I realised that the girls who tormented me were cowards. It was really, really difficult, but facing up to them by asking them why they were calling me names stopped them in their tracks. 

Standing up to them was a challenge but it helped a lot. The bullying lessened considerably and I gained back some confidence. It didn't, however, remove my need to control my feelings. I turned to self harm when I felt unable to cope. 

High school was a grand improvement. Most of my high school career was at the Alternative High School in Calgary. This was classroom structure self-directed learning and I was really good at it. So good that I was one of two graduates who never went onto the Step Program. The Step Program, or simply "Step", was a corrective program for students who fell behind with their studies.

More of that stubbornness, really. I made up my mind not to get on Step, to take control of my learning and to graduate on time with the highest marks I could manage. I was very focused. Unfortunately one day there was a paperwork mix-up when a student with a similar name to mine was put on Step. For a few days I thought I was on Step because of this miscommunication. There was a lot of confusing back and forth but eventually it was resolved.

Despite this I woke up the morning after it was resolved and my heart felt like it was sitting in my throat. My chest was tight and my breathing shallow. I felt like my pulse was racing, even though it wasn't when I checked. My appetite - which is usually really, really good - was gone because I had constant butterflies in my stomach. 

I had developed Panic Disorder. A disorder is when something is misfiring. In my case my brain was reacting to perceived triggers: It was signalling to my body that I should be in fight or flight all the time, even when there was nothing to warrant it. 

After a few sleepless nights I went to my doctor and he sent me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnosed me with Panic Disorder and, the common cold of mental illness, Depression. He suggested medication but I had watched plenty of friends go down that route and I didn't want to experience the same sluggishness and flattening of my personality. I knew it was all in my head and I figured it would eventually go away. At the time I was seventeen. 

My anxiety remained with me, 24/7 for the next three years. Sometimes it would turn into a full blown anxiety attack but mostly it was just there, softly, under my skin and in my head and fluttering in my heart. I accepted it as part of who I was.

Two years later several major things happened in my life:

1. I decided to set up a not-for-profit oranisation that would provide sustainable safe spaces for queer, transgendered/sexual and questioning youth.

2. I planned a trip to Australia - my first holiday completely paid for and planned by myself.

3. I got my first tattoo, of a bull, as a reminder of my strength an as a promise to never self harm again.

4. I started dating someone.

Items 1 to 3 were all very empowering and significant. I was making adult decisions in a way I hadn't done before. I was growing up. I was doing things for me.

One day my anxiety wasn't there. The constant 24/7 anxiety had gone away and the feeling of relief it gave me was absolutely incredible.

I attributed this change to number 4. I did not see the empowering decisions I was making as influencing my emotions and ability to cope. It was not something I put up to my personal growth but something I assumed was because of someone new in my life with whom I felt a special connection.

Despite this budding relationship I still went off to Australia on my own, where I had a brilliant time, met a lot of amazing people and found a huge amount of energy to bring back and apply to the development of the not-for-profit organisation.

My anxiety was not gone but it had lessened significantly. I was feeling really good. I was finding an amazing community of people, I was in a seemingly loving relationship and I was confident in my independence because I'd been to Australia and back on my own.

It doesn't matter how sensible or rational or together you might be, toxic people aren't always easy to spot at first glance. When I felt anxious I attributed the anxiety to my inability to make and keep my partner happy. I felt, if they were happy, then my anxiety would go away. When my anxiety increased I worked harder to make them happier. I also stopped writing. I painted occasionally but not very much and only to make things for my partner. I didn't travel. I hardly read.

It never occurred to me that my anxiety might be a tool - a compounding of fear that had turned into a boiling frothy nest of anxiousness - trying to tell me to PAY ATTENTION. I did everything I could to make it go away, except for actually listening to it.

I also started self harming again - something I'd not done since I was a teenager. At twenty-two a stressful situation would turn me into an angst ridden ball of anxiety and it was only getting worse.

I was isolated. My friends and family had little time or patience for me. They found me whiney, obnoxiously negative and quite bitter. I didn't like being with myself and I honestly couldn't blame anyone else for not wanting to be either. I was whiney, negative and bitter.

In the week between Christmas 2007 and New Year 2008 the cold weather had set in and cabin fever was taking its toll. I was confined to the house as I was on holiday from work. My constant anxiety became crippling. I couldn't eat anything: even liquids wouldn't stay down. I couldn't sleep. The nights, which were long anyway because of the time of year, stretched on and on like some sort of torturous time chamber.

I tried all my usual stuff - taking baths, drinking hot lemon drinks for colds, taking muscle relaxants and other drowsy-making meds, making a bed on the floor in the hall or in the living room, watching TV, listening to music - nothing worked. The anxiety reached a point of no distraction and after four sleepless nights I took the decision to be hospitalised.

For the first time in my life I was given medication for the anxiety I was experiencing. I was given 2mg of Lorazepam and finally it began to recede.

I continued to take 1 to 2mgs of Lorazepam every night for the next six months. It was the only thing between me and oblivion but it's considered a highly addictive drug. When I'd been at the hospital they made it very clear that I would need to see my doctor about long term treatment options and it was probably a really good idea for me to see a psychologist.

My mum found me a psychologist and told me that she would cover the costs as often and for as long as I needed. This was one time when I was not going to refuse her offer of help. I agreed to it because I wanted a solution - I did not want to rely on medication for the rest of my life and I knew that what I was suffering from was not a biological misfiring but a cognitive pattern of negativity.

Before I continue I want to make is perfectly clear that medication has a valid place and that it's so important to be properly diagnosed and treated for any mental illness. In my case I'd had all my levels checked and the only thing that popped up was a vitamin D deficiency, which really wasn't an explanation for the severity of the chronic anxiety I was suffering.

Just a few weeks after my hospitalisation I began to see my psychologist, who I continue to see to this day. Her support has been invaluable and the support of my family and friends has also attributed to my recovery. And what a recovery it has been! 

In the initial stages after my breakdown in January 2008, my recovery was slow and steady. I was building a foundation for change which was tested in June of 2008 when my relationship ended abruptly and unpleasantly. The experience of heartbreak is nearly impossible to explain. At the time I didn't recognise how unhealthy my relationship had been so my initial devastation was quite intense. My anxiety went through the roof and for three days I barely ate, hardly slept and was either crying or catatonic.

But something else was going on. Something really, truly amazing. For the first time in my life I was experiencing something really bad and I was just going with it. I didn't want to harm myself.

This was  huge.  (As you can see by my choice of text size and format)

I couldn't sleep or eat but I knew it wouldn't last forever. I was still reliant on medication (At this point I was taking Lorazepam and an anti-depressant in an attempt to wean me from one to the other.) but I didn't feel like it was the only thing helping me function.

It was largely my faith in my own resilience, the trust I had that nothing was permanent - good bad or otherwise - and that I wasn't and never would be alone. I had lots of support but I also had the shared experience of everyone who had ever had their heart broken.

I also realised that the only person you should ever be willing to do absolutely anything for is yourself. 

And I was willing to do anything for myself.

I began to like myself again. I began doing the things I enjoyed. I wrote, I painted, I drew and I booked a trip to Palm Springs. I began planning to move to London for six months. I remembered how to value myself - something I'd been really good at until I was thirteen.

By the end of July 2008 I was no longer taking antidepressants OR Lorazepam. I went three months without Lorazepam and even then, I only took it as and when I needed it. I also gained a lot of weight - which had been a constant struggle for me because anxiety often killed my appetite. I went from 102lbs (7st) to 135lbs (9.6st) in about six weeks.

I still had difficult moments - really bad anxiety, really rough sleepless nights - but I wasn't afraid of them any more and I wasn't afraid of myself and what I might do. I had learned how to love myself. I learned that loving yourself is about loving everything - your talents, habits, experiences, and thoughts - no matter how you might define or classify them.

I'm still learning a lot. I'm always growing and changing and discovering. I am not perfect and I am not always capable but I have faith in my ability.

In 2013 I am celebrating a huge accomplishment. I have gone two years without taking Lorazepam.

I have come so far since my breakdown in 2008, including experiencing long periods of time where I am so content with my life that I can honestly think, if I were to die right now, that would be O.K. because I am living a life I love and loving it - even the difficult bits - simply because life is worth it.

A lot of people ask me if I wish things had been different. 

I love myself. I have an incredibly supportive family and wonderful, genuine friends. I have fantastic life living in London. I travel a lot. I am working as a designer, a job I absolutely love and enjoy doing every single day. I draw, paint, sculpt, and animate.  I'm studying Psychology. I write regularly and I've just published my first book, a dream from the age of five which is now a reality.

So no, I don't wish anything in my life had been different because if it was then I wouldn't be who I am today. 

Thank you. I realise this was a very long entry and I appreciate that you have taken the time to read it all.

Get your copy of Wise at Any Age

Naked Blogging - An introduction

I love writing. For me, writing is akin to breathing. It's just a natural part of my day to day existence and without it I am like a sad goldfish flopping on a dry surface gasping for water that I can't get to because I have fins instead of fingers. That was a really dramatic simile, but you get the idea.

I write for a lot of reasons - self expression, self exploration, self sustainment. I keep a journal for my most private of private things, this blog for thoughts and musings, and I write books as an outlet for my imagination and all the awesome, fun characters I have been making up since I was a kid. Writing is natural for me.

But writing this story has been one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. This is my third attempt at starting it in the blog, the fifth 'draft' of it I've done on a computer and probably the tenth time I've written about it in general.

"But what, exactly, is 'it' that you are agonising about writing?" you may be asking. I mean, you probably aren't asking that because that's very specific wording, but something along those lines is running through you head - and I'm getting to it - I promise. I'm just building some tension here and I want you to have some more background first.

Early in 2012 I was twigged onto a great blog by The Bloggess AKA Jenny Lawson. She actually has several blogs, columns and regular article contributions throughout the interweb, as well as a fabulous book. I was told she was funny and interesting and that I could learn a lot from her.

I took a toodle over to her site and yes, she is funny (or at least I find her funny, you may not, but that's the glorious thing about life - we're all really different) and her entries definitely hold my interest. I am also learning a lot from her posts, mostly about how odd she is, but also about being honest and how much people appreciate that. Jenny has an anxiety disorder and suffers from depression but she lives an amazing life and she makes people laugh.

I know how annoying it can be when people are super honest. It can be socially awkward - like if someone starts talking about their colonoscopy within the first ten minutes of meeting you. It can also be super tiresome - like when someone's facebook status updates are always along the lines of 'I'm wasting away in a wasteland of miserable because I'm the miserable mayor of miserable town'.

My opinion is that people don't love you for all the miserable crap you've been through. I've never heard anyone say, "I love So-and-So because they always have some sad tale of ultra woe!' - I'm sure there ARE people who do say this and quite frankly they can all flock together, but I digress.

What makes a person interesting, wonderful and delightful is how they made it through the crap. I look up to and admire Pema Chodron because she shares the wisdom she gained from the experiences she's had. Eckhart Tolle is adored for the same reasons. So was Gandhi, so is Byron Katie, so is Nelson Mandella. They've been there, done that and rather than whinging about life being unfair they've shared how life is what you choose to make it, not in-spite of the challenging bits but because of what we learn and how we grow from the challenging bits.

But here lies my dilemma. The value of your experience and what you have learned is often measured by what you have gone through. As a young person, the credit of your wisdom is difficult to prove because it's assumed that a) if you've had fewer experiences then b) you have less wisdom. By that reasoning, when you get to be in your sixties and seventies you should be pretty sage and wise because you've had so many experiences to learn from.

Well, I think that's crap. I think there are plenty of people who might live to one hundred and not have a bloody clue. I also think there are people who, by the age of ten, have some incredible insights. You can have the same experience over and over and over, but until you learn the lesson that experience is trying to teach you, you won't be any wiser. 

So this is why this entry is important to me because it's about how my experience has shaped a lot of my choices, beliefs and ideas. It's why I chose to write my book, 'Wise at Any Age' - a handbook for cultivating wisdom (which you can buy now!)

I want to help creative people tap into and express their creativity. I want help people get over their procrastination. I want to help people stop making excuses and start making beautiful, amazing contributions to the world. The best way to help people in these ways is to share my story; my wonderful, beautiful, messed up, occasionally confusing, but very valuable story, and continue living a fantastic life - lead by example and all that biz-niz.

The Bloggess calls it 'Naked Blogging'. The idea is, if you know where someone is coming from then the value of their experience is that much more obvious. I can't really argue with that. As with the aforementioned Famous-People-Who-Have-Survived-Adveristy-And-Are-Better-For-It, knowing that we can be totally awesome not in spite of our experiences, but because of our experiences, is extremely powerful.

So I'm going to take the plunge and do a Naked Blog. A blog about why I came to write 'Wise at Any Age' and why I believe in helping people realise their own potential. That being said, this particular entry has gone on long enough. Thank you for getting this far.

Get your copy of 'Wise at Any Age'

Official 'Wise at any Age' Launch video!

On Friday, June 21st I celebrated the launch of Wise at any Age with a little London Square dancing - Soho, Leicester and Trafalgar. I was joined by a fantastic group of silent disco supporters who also helped by handing out cards promoting my book and making the entire event super, ridiculously fun. 

This is the evidence of an evening well spent in Central London. 

Wise at Any Age book launch!

My official book launch celebration is tomorrow! 

I will be doing a bit of London Square dancing - as in dancing around in various squares of London. Namely, Soho, Leicester and Trafalgar Square! 

If you'd like to come join the fun either as a dancer or as spectator the details are on my Facebook page.

And if you'd like to buy a copy of my book? 

Well, exciting news! You now can! 

There are so many people to thank and there is a page at the back of the book where I mention a select few of those who have given me support through this particular project. This hasn't just been a two year and eight month project of writing and editing and illustrating and designing and editing some more. This has been my entire life of being encouraged to be creative and express myself through words and do whatever I set my mind to.

It's wonderful that I have a book to offer the world but if I'm completely honest, if I just had the one copy - my first proof - that would be enough because that in itself is an astounding thing to hold. I still can hardly believe this is really happening and I am excited to be sharing it with so many people! 

This book began as an article about overcoming mental illness through creativity. It has evolved into something quite different: a toolkit for anyone, regardless of age, who wants to cultivate wisdom. 

It is the creation of inspiration from conversations with friends and family, young and old, who have taught me incredible things and made me open my eyes more and more to the reality of the world we live in. It is the accumulation of lessons learned from difficult people who challenge my ideas, test my limits and show me where I still have work to do. Ultimately it is a reminder that we are never too young, or too old, to gain wisdom. 

Wisdom is not about how long we have lived. It is not about how many experiences we've had. 

It is about the lessons we have learned. 

One of the greatest lessons of my life has been the importance of living it fully. Life doesn't start tomorrow or next week or in a month or when we get the 'right' job or the 'perfect' partner. So if you want something for your life, make it happen.

Believe me. It's worth it. 

How to Get Published

Step one:
Write.

Write a lot. Write the novel you always wanted. Write it during National Novel Writing Month. Write it while commuting on a train. Write it on rainy Sunday mornings. Write it during your lunch break. Write it after dinner. But whatever you do, finish writing it before you move on to step two.

Step two:
Edit the first three chapters.

You can edit more of it if you want but most agents want a sample, not the whole work, and they want the beginning because they want it to grab their attention. So edit the first three chapters as much as you can to get them super polished. Find a friend to edit them, if it helps, and be critical. Think about what you enjoy reading. Think about what makes you keep turning pages and apply it to what you've written. Make sure there's tension and intrigue and please, please, please make sure there are no spelling mistakes.

Step three:
Research agents.

Most agents will be based in major city centres, like London or New York. If they're not, be wary. An agent's job is to sell your product and that means moving within the publishing world. Most publishing houses are based in major city centres so you want your agent based there too.

You also want an agent that works with your genre so make sure you identify the authors they've worked with in the past and the sort of books they're looking for.

Also - you should never have to pay an agent to read your stuff. If it says they charge to read a manuscript, don't even consider them.

*You can go directly to publishers if you want but the majority of publishing houses don't accept unsolicited manuscripts or manuscripts without an agent. 

Step four:
Check the submission guidelines.

Some agents want a covering letter that includes a synopsis, miniature biography, word count, and a bit about your experience as an author/writer. Some agents want a covering letter with the title, word count and whether or not you've completed the novel.

Some agents want the first three chapters and a full page synopsis. Some agents want the first chapter or even just the first 500 words. Some want a synopsis like that you'd find on the dust jacket of a book. Others prefer a chapter breakdown, full list of characters and full chapter summary.

Some agents won't care how many other agents you've submitted a manuscript to. Others will be fine if it's just one or two others. Others still won't read your manuscript if they're not the only agency you're considering.

More agents accept online submissions these days, but there are still many that will require you to include a Postage Paid envelope so they can return your manuscript to you.

Step five:
Prep your manuscript for submission.

Follow the aforementioned guidelines and get your manuscript up to snuff for the agent(s) you'll be sending it to. Include everything they've asked for to the exact specifications they've used. Agents are very busy and they won't have time for a manuscript that isn't easy to process.

Step six:
Set it free.

Send your work out into the world. Most agents will get back to you within two or three months. They should have the expected turn around time on their website. It might be an idea to create a spreadsheet of the dates of your submissions. Follow-up when the allotted time has passed if you've not yet heard from them.

Step seven:
Start collecting rejection letters.

Read them. Review their feedback and apply any changes you can to your manuscript. Save them if you want or burn them if you like - that's up to you. But you will get rejected. You'll get rejected over and over and over and over again. Remember: When you get a rejection letter it means someone has looked at your work. It means someone has taken the time to consider it. It means your work is out there, doing something, instead of sitting on your computer or in journals or worse yet, still in your head completely unwritten.

Step eight:
Repeat.

Do it again. Keep writing, keeping researching agents, keep submitting manuscripts and keep collecting rejection letters. Persistence paid off. The most successful people on the planet, the people who are content in their day to day lives because they have build a life they love, worked bloody hard at it. They went out and made it happen. And there is absolutely nothing about them that is different from you.

If all that fails or if you're tired of waiting, publish it yourself. 

No excuses.

If you want something you'll make it happen. 

Wise at Any Age will be available to purchase on Thursday the 20th of June!

Revised!

I've made the few revisions necessary to the proof of my book. I have to say I am absolutely glowing with joy. I keep taking the proof out and just looking at it, flipping the pages, feeling it solidly in my hand. It's like holding a wish - only it's not a wish. It's real.

Now when people ask me 'What do you do?" and I tell them I'm a Creative Specialist I can say,
"Well, I do graphic design, painting, sculpture, a bit of animation and I'm a published author."

*glee*

That sounds amazing. 

I'm a published author. 

I've always been a writer. But now I'm an author. 

As soon as the next proof arrives, and as long as I'm totally happy with the result, you can hold your very own copy of 'Wise at Any Age', Kaitlyn S. C. Hatch's first published book. Details coming sooner than you think.

Ineffable

Ineffable - Something that cannot be described in words. 

Since I can remember I have written. I have filled over 40 journals since the age of six. I have completed seven manuscripts, including one last November during National Novel Writing Month. I have always been and always will be a writer. 

Telling me to keep writing is like reminding me to breath. 

To be a published author has been my dream. It has been the only thing I've consistently wanted since the age of five. 

Today the proof copy of my first published book was waiting for me when I got home. 

Follow your dreams. Turn them into goals. Make them real. 

The feeling is ineffable but you'll know it when it happens to you. 

Holding my very first published book for the very first time

No idea how amazing it is to see my name on the spine

Fully illustrated and laid out with much care over the past few months

I'm extremely happy with the cover - which I redesigned about
a dozen times before landing on this. 

Adventures in book writing!

I am a polymath and that means I have many talents and many interests - but if someone told me I had to specialise, that my choice was an early death or a long life doing one single thing - I would write. Always, always, always. I would never touch a paintbrush again. I would refrain from doodling. I would cease any sculpture.

But I would create with the written word and that in itself would be enough. 

So I have written a few books and I have, for the past year and a half, focused on getting one of them ready for publication. It's been edited, reviewed, and critiqued. It's been chopped, reworked, and tweaked. It's been laid out, redesigned, and redesigned again.

And this week I finished the final touches to the cover - the last bit of the entire project.

So it's ready. 

Now the question is, when do I set it free? 

Illustrious Illustration!

I've been really focused on 'Wise at Any Age' lately. Mostly because I solved a design problem I was having regarding the layout. Now that that's all taken care of I'm moving through chapter by chapter, sorting things out rapidly and getting it closer and closer to being ready for publication.

Most recently I finished a bunch more illustrations for it. Because this is a handbook for cultivating wisdom I want it to appeal to all sorts of learning styles. As a visual person I appreciate how well an image can communicate an idea or concept. As a designer it's fun to play with words and images to get something across effectively and aesthetically.

One of the chapters of 'Wise at Any Age' looks at universal wisdom - wisdom based on a deep knowledge of what really is. While there are thousands of examples of wonderful teachers who have embraced and taught with universal wisdom, I selected just a few to illustrate the point:

'Be the change you want to see in the world'
- Gandhi

'Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all'
- Helen Keller

'Know the rules well so you can break them effectively'
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

'Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies'
- Nelson Mandela

Wise At Any Age - An Update

I know I've gone a bit quiet about my book.

I set myself the goal of having it published by the end of March. At the time I had months laid ahead of me and even with the chaos of the Christmas holidays I felt my plan was solid enough that it would definitely be ready by the 31st at the very latest.

You may ask why I decided to take on this incredibly huge task of writing, illustrating, laying out and printing a book myself. You may wonder what possessed me to set a deadline for something I'd never done before and then publicise it right away. You may even question my reasoning for choosing to create and market a book on my own.

Let me tell you a few things about me:

1. I learn by doing. I figured this out at a pretty early age. If you let me touch something, play with it, get my hands dirty, try and fail and try again until I succeed - it will stick.

If you show me something and make me take notes on it I will end up with a bunch of paper with dreadful writing on it and absolutely no retention of what I was 'taught'.

So I decided I wanted to learn how to design a book. It's a useful skill to have, especially when you're a writer with five unpublished manuscripts. May as well learn how to do it myself.

2. Deadlines help me commit. I set a deadline and stick to it. Even if it's just my own personal deadline and even if I could change it and nothing terrible would happen, I have this mental switch that gets flicked when I set a deadline. I will work my butt off to get something completed. It helps me organise my time and ensures I accomplish something.

An illustration for Wise At Any Age

3. Waiting for life to happen is a great way to waste your life. Time keeps on ticking along whether you're using it wisely or not. I once spent two years not using my time very wisely at all. I neglected my creative needs and ignored my desire to travel. I became stagnant and it turned me into a miserable person that not many people enjoyed being around. In fact, I didn't even enjoy my own company, which is never good.

I'm now in the business of making things happen. I'm sending off manuscripts to agents and I'm still editing my work and jotting down ideas for new novels to write as they come to me. But nothing is stopping me from getting a book published on my own and given that I already do all my own marketing for my design work, I might as well do my own marketing for my book.

So that's why I took on this incredible task and I promise, I am still working to my end of March deadline. However, I also want to make sure that the book is the best it possibly can be when I make it available to the world. This is where another thing comes in handy:

4. Let it go. 

I'm not always good at letting things go. My stubbornness is what gets things done or defines my character as reliable and steadfast. But then again, being stubborn can mean being a bit unreasonable. I might not have my book ready by my March 31st deadline. I appreciate that and I can live with it.

Illustration for Chapter 2: 'Curiosity'

It's more important that 'Wise At Any Age' is the best it can be when I make it available. I want the illustrations to be right, the content to really matter and the value of it to be unquestionable. It's not something that I've just slapped together. It's been three years in the making just to get it written. A few weeks or even months longer to get the layout right - well, that's okay. Because when it is ready it will be a Great Book and one which you will be proud to have on your shelf.

Share, Subscribe and ReTweet contest winners!

In November I announced the upcoming release of my book 'Wise At Any Age' along with an exciting contest for anyone who shared or retweeted the link to my blog through Facebook or Twitter. I also made the offer of a signed copy of the book when it's released for anyone who subscribes to my e-newletter.

Neon!

Well, the time has come to announce the lucky winners of all three draws!


The winner of the Facebook Link Sharing contest, and the soon to be proud owner of Neon, one of the polymer clay dragons from my 'Dragon a Day' challenge, is Nic W. of Calgary, Alberta. Nic has always been a great support of my blog and I am happy to know that Neon is going to such an awesome home.

'The World'
24X36" Acrylic on canvas

The winner of the ReTweet contest is Rosie, known as @1ManBandAccts on Twitter. Rosie has selected a limited edition photo print of 'The World' from my available Tarot Card prints. Thank you Rosie for retweeting so many of my blog entries!










And finally, the winner of a signed copy of 'Wise at Any Age' when it is released this March, is Jack from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan!

Jack is one of many subscribers to my e-newsletter, which was all he had to do to be entered into the draw. I will be having many more draws throughout the year open only to subscribers. My e-newsletter has other benefits too, like cool creative tips to help you with your own creative projects, and special offers for my design services. Oh, and I only send it once a month so you won't be bombarded with stuff in your inbox.

Thank you Jack for signing up to my e-newsletter!

The next few months are going to be pretty full-on for me so I want to thank everyone for their ongoing support. Following your bliss isn't always easy but it's always worth it! I'm going to be dedicating all my free time to the editing and preparation of my book for publication. Jack is awaiting his copy and I know there are many of you who are eager to finally have something I've written printed and bound. Believe me, no one wants that more than yours truly.

On top of my time editing I've got my Central Saint Martins course and, starting on the first of February, I'll be studying psychology and philosophy through the Open University. It all sounds a bit mad, really, considering I have to work and sleep and eat as well.

Life isn't too short. Life is just far too unpredictable. As Pema Chodron says, "If death is certain and the time you have until death is not, what are you going to do right now?" 

400th Blog Entry!!!

When people ask me “what do you do?” I get overwhelmed as I find it difficult to offer them an answer that is brief but also explains the breadth of my professional activity. Lately this has become a greater challenge as I’ve been working on my life coaching, still doing all my creative tasks and working part-time at a charity. 

To resolve this I sat down and really thought about how I want to answer that question, regardless of what I’m spending my time on or where my primary source of income is coming from. The only job title which I’ve ever truly loved and embraced is Creative Specialist. 

I specialise in being creative. I sculpt, write, paint, animate, design, and draw. I am happiest when I am making something for someone and happiest when I have a creative project to get properly stuck into. 

For the last few weeks I’ve been stuck into writing and illustrating a book. It is the first non-fiction book I’ve completed and it’s on the subject of wisdom. Wisdom is not directly related to how long a person has lived but what they have learned from the many experiences they’ve had. This is a handbook for cultivating wisdom, regardless of your age, and it’s going to be published in March, 2013. 

I’m not entirely sure on the exact date just yet, but for my 400th blog entry I wanted to announce something really exciting! There’s not specific reason for me to get excited about my 400th blog entry. It’s just a nice looking number, really, and as I’ve missed any anniversaries, it seemed like a good time to celebrate this blog and show my appreciation to all of you who read it. 

In celebration of 400 entries and the release of my book in March, I am going to be holding a draw. You are invited to sign up to my brand new Faunawolf Creations E-Newsletter, which will arrive in your inbox once a month and no more, I promise. Everyone who signs up between now and February 2013 will be entered into a draw to win a signed copy of ‘Wise At Any Age’ when it is released in March. 

I’m also holding a ReTweeting contest for those of you who regularly read my blog via twitter. Everyone who ReTweets this entry will be entered into a draw to win a signed limited edition print of one of my Tarot Card paintings. 

And if that wasn’t enough, to include those of you who support me through my Facebook Page, everyone who ‘shares’ the link to this entry will be entered into a draw to win an original Fanawolf Creations dragon. 

So, quite a few fabulous opportunities and all to say thank you for reading, commenting and sharing. This blog is a big part of my life and I really appreciate the support I get from all of my followers, fans and friends. I just wanted to thank you for it and whilst it would be brilliant to offer a prize to everyone, logistically it’s just not practical. Of course, there’s nothing to stop you from entering all three draws! 

And here's to the next 400 entries! *raises glass in a toast*