...Excerpts from my journal...
January 5th, 2010
Well, this is it! Nothing left to be done other than the disassembly of my bed, which I probably shouldn't do alone.
Delirium is sitting on my luggage, looking like her springs might be about to sprung. Just the two of us for at least another half hour.
Freshly fallen snow has covered up all the grit and grim from cars. I don't feel trapped by the weather though, as I normally would about this time of year. Soon I'll be in an entirely different climate. An entirely different city. And at the end of the month: Paris!
My life is about to change in an incredible way.
January 6th, 2010
... I like watching the water race across the plane window. Outside snow blankets the fields in white, criss-crossed with black highways. We're about to go above the pillowy clouds, obscuring the ground from sight. The horizon is soft and pink, blending to yellow and then blue.
My best friend cut off my rat tail last night...
January 7th, 2010
It's amazing how different life can be in a year. We are rarely ever doing the same thing on the same day a year later, but the shift can be so extreme it's almost startling. I love that about my journal. I love looking back year on year, seeing where I've been, seeing how I've grown, seeing how I'm always growing.
Why London? The big question.
Do I regret any of it? First, a clarification. Regret, to me, does not mean wishing something hadn't happened or that it had happened differently. Regret is acknowledging something I shouldn't have done and promising not to do it in the future. So the question of regret, to be specific, is would I upheave my entire life and move to an entirely new country again?
I suppose I would, because I'm stubborn and nomadic and adventurous. If I make up my mind to do something it's because I've come at it from all angles and my heart and head are in on it full-on.
And what of the next year? I've been sorting out my general 2011 goals list (finish the Tarot Card project, hold a gallery showing, editing manuscripts, developing design skills) and plotting trips to the places I'd like to see.
But then there's the most important question. Not the question of the past nor the question of the future. The question of right here and right now, today, in this moment. Gotta say, it's pretty fabulous. It's been raining all day, staining the whole city a darker shade. I've been home ten minutes but my glasses still show signs of the steady drizzle as they are dappled with raindrops. I've just opened a card which arrived in the post sometime whilst I was out. It's from my best friend and includes a lovely, silly drawing of she and her partner decorating their tree. This is adding to my smile, which has been growing since my own partner sent me a text calling today my anniversary. I'd not really thought of it as an anniversary. Once she put the thought in my head though, it stuck. I decided it was cause for celebration so after the day job was done I went to Charing Cross road to treat myself to some art supplies.
Afterwards, on my way home on the tube, I was playing I-Spy with the colour purple and listening to music. The new art supplies leaned against my legs in their red and white bag. I watched a dread-headed guitarist down the car bobbing to whatever it was he was enjoying on his headphones. When the train reached Tooting Bec I took one of my business cards out and wrote on it:
What makes you dance so?
I walked down the car and handed it to him. He smiled, pulling his headphones out of his ears. I slid mine back on my head.
"Prince," he said, with a stellar smile.
"What about you?"
"To be honest, I don't know what it's called," I don't, really. It was a song from one of many mix CDs my best friend has blessed me with over the years.
The next stop was his, but he before he had to get off he gave me a CD for his band and said to email them if I liked it.
I've just finished uploading the song to iTunes (It's pretty decent!) and must say, between getting a card from my best friend and the potential of a new friend, this moment is pretty awesome. Tonight I'm going to snuggle up on the couch with my girlfriend, a delicious dinner from Deliverance, and a good film all the while listening to the sound of London rain.