Fear

"Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth"

- Pema Chodron


My art supplies are not available to me right now and seeing as this is a year of great change and exploration, I've decided to try my hand at oil paints...finally. I went to Fielder's and picked out three tubes of paint, a few brushes and some cleaner/thinner. I felt completely out of my element, not knowing the first thing about painting with oils. I just knew that you need to be more aware of the materials required and that I'm often told, "Once you use oil, you will never go back."



There is something to be said for taking the plunge. I've got these tubes and I love all the potential held in a shiny, new paintbrush, but I'm still hesitant. I'm going to dabble, initially. I'll start on a small canvas, get a feel for it and see what the result is.


And yeah, I'm a little afraid. Which is awesome.


"When we are shaky, we are on the verge of something."

- Pema Chodron


It's amazing how we will let fear limit us. It's not about doing something stupid ie. Fear of getting eaten by a tiger is a good reason not to climb into a cage with one. But fear of facing something about ourselves, our inability to perform a task or take on a new adventure, that is where we can find so much chance for growth and change.

Using oil paints might seem insignificant to most. It's just paint...but it's paint with an entirely different set of rules to acrylic and water based paint. I've not used oils for the same reason I don't like drawing in pen. I can ink in over something I've drawn, once I'm certain the pencil lines are exactly as I want them, but just taking the plunge with pen to paper scares the crap out of me.


So I do it. I do it over and over until I face that fear of messing up, of doing something 'The wrong way' or risking that something might looking stupid and not like what I imagined. It's facing the fear of discouragement and it's about knowing that only through failure and through the lessons it gives us, can we grow.