Holidays are fantastic. Spending time in a different country, learning about a different culture, exploring whole new landscapes - all definite things to look forward to. But I think what I liked best about a holiday is how it makes me spend time with myself. I can't distract myself with To Do lists. There's nothing to do. It's all about being.
Going to Thailand was a phenomenal experience and one which made me really think about how good I am at getting myself worked up into a froth. I've got a lot going on at the moment, what with my gallery show in August, things picking up at the day job, and the general busyness that seems to happen with warmer weather. It was all getting to be a bit much but going off on holiday is like pressing a giant 'pause' button.
I was discussing it with a friend and she had a good point. She said it's like you're in a rushing stream of water. When you're in it it feel overwhelming, too fast and to full of twigs and leaves and little stones that poke and knock into you. You have to be able to climb out of the stream and take a look. Going on holiday does that for me.
I climbed out of my stream and rested on a calm river bank... in the sun. I lay there for a bit, my eyes closed, ignoring the stream completely at first. Then I took a look at it and little bits panicked me. At first just the thought of jumping back in really caused me stress. But then I remembered I didn't have to jump right back in just yet and when I did I could always take some supplies with me.
I know that I tend to get overwhelmed quite easily but I also know I'm capable and self-reliant. I know the importance of taking breaks and that when I meditate I feel even more capable and able to cope with what might crop up.
August is approaching, sometimes quicker than I'd like, but I'm good at prioritising and I also have some incredible supports in my life to help me get there. It's all about the baby steps.
So now I'm back in the stream and it's picking up speed again, but I'm a strong swimmer.