I'm working on some new ones.
Actually, I'm working on a lot right now. I finally nipped over to Quickdraw to hole-punch a brand new ream of paper so I can start animating with the new light table.
I've also picked up some glossy photo paper so I can make a portfolio of my work. This sudden flurry of activity was brought on by a crappy shift at work and a random wad of Sculpey I found on the sales floor. Monday was the crappy shift, which left me in a funk. On Tuesday I opened and I was feeling quite put-out when I discovered the Sculpey sitting on a chair. I brought it to the back and set it by the computer. Despite being such a huge company, my work has crap computers, so, whilst waiting for the thing to load, I'd fiddle around with the plasticine-like clay. Eventually it resulted in a dragon and a wee pig, which I set up so they appeared to be contemplating each other.
One by one my co-workers began noticing what I'd made and commenting on my talent.
It's funny because I'm always talking about how weird it is when you first spend time with people outside of work. It's not that most of us are any different, it's just we only talk about work while at work, so we don't always get to know the things that make us who we really are. I notice it in my co-workers all the time, but I've always thought I've been pretty vocal about who I am, until that day. Suddenly I realized the source of my frustration was that I've been trying to be happy doing a job that isn't me.
So, yeah, I communicate well and I could probably be great in HR or as a manager or something, but being good at something in one setting doesn't mean I can't take it and apply it to something that is more definitive of my nature. I'll drive myself nuts trying to make that skill work in the wrong place and it took the small reminder of who I am (an artist.) to see what I needed to do.
So I'm grabbing the bull by the horns and I'm going to stop putting off what I want and what fills me with joy because I'm afraid of the work or because I think it will be too expensive. Even when I feel miserable, even when I'm in the worst sort of funk, I can, do and will still create artwork and stories. So it's about time I began sharing that with the world, properly, and promoting myself.
My desire to be without significant responsibility has ebbed in that I am feeling frustrated about not becing able to change how things go at my job. Well, none of us are ever really in control. That's what makes life fun. Every new moment, every new challenge, and every new swift kick in the butt from the Universe that tells us it's time to learn a new lesson and let go of an old attachment is a way for us to continue on a path of happiness with an open heart and mind.
C'est La Vie.