And the exciting news is...

When I hear people say things like, "You should do that when you're young, before you have to settle down and be responsible," I smile and nod, knowing the sort of world they're living in to make such a statement.

In my world 'settling down' doesn't exist because I know that change is constant. 

I also believe life is an adventure and you're NEVER too old for an adventure. 

And if you have children I see absolutely no reason why they wouldn't accompany you on adventures, as it will expand their minds and teach them to go beyond dreaming to actually achieving. 

And just because you're adventuring doesn't mean you shouldn't be responsible. 

Whether we like it or not we are responsible for ourselves and the impact we will have on everything around us. Having fun, exploring, and creating are not exclusive of being responsible.

I bang on about this a lot. I think it's the theme of my blog, if my blog actually has a theme considering all the tangents I go on: Life is uncertain. The only certainty is that each and every one of us will die. We don't know when that will be but it is an inevitability we all face. For that reason alone you should never settle down, never stop having adventures, never stop learning, never stop being curious.

You won't know the places you'll go if you feel like there's a point when things 'settle'.

I didn't settle for administration jobs in charity just because it was something I was good at. I didn't settle when I was offered a raise because more money meant nothing if the job didn't also feed my soul and use my creativity. I didn't settle just because financial stability provides me with a sense of security that is better for my mental health.

I stepped off the edge and I went after what I wanted and in just under seven months I went from a job that was demoralising and draining to being a professional Creative Polymath. I am a published author, a skilled graphic designer, and now, also, a Brand Development Manager.

Don't just follow your dreams. Turn them into goals and make them your reality.

Good mental health

'Diaries of a Broken Mind'
Screen capture from BBC3

BBC has been running a series of different mini-documentaries on mental illness. I decided to watch a few of them through iPlayer because I'm always fascinated by the way the media portrays mental illness and because it's also been on my mind quite a lot since the release of Wise at any Age - which was inspired by my own experience with an anxiety disorder and depression.

The last show I watched was called Diaries of a Broken Mind and it followed several people under the age of 30 as they described their lives with everything from anorexia to agoraphobia.

Almost all of them said they 'hated it' or that they just wished they could be 'normal' and towards the end of the documentary they were asked this question:

Would you get rid of your condition if you could? 

This statement says so much about how far too many people view mental illness, including those who  currently have one.

This statement presupposes that all mental illness is somehow incurable.

As it was, I began writing what would become Wise at any Age the day I was told I no longer had a disorder, which is why this question irks me so. I no longer suffer from Panic Disorder and haven't experienced a bout of depression in over five years - just like I don't have shingles anymore or a cold or the flu or any other number of illnesses I've experienced.

Mental illness, just like any illness, isn't necessarily a chronic condition. Like any illness, it requires a great level of care and balance to recuperate from it and like any other illness, it can come up again.

Because of my anxiety I learned how important it is to love yourself first and best. Because of my anxiety I learned to listen to my gut and trust my own sense of reason. Because of my anxiety I have learned how important it is to pay attention. Because of my anxiety I have learned that I am resilient, capable, and entirely able to recover, grow, and change.

I know a lot of people will question how someone aged 28 came to write a book about wisdom. The entire point I'm making is that we can and will gain wisdom at any point in our lives, if we're paying attention to the lessons and looking at the world with curiosity. In the BBC Mini-Series Don't Call Me Crazy a thirteen year old makes the very wise observation:

"OCD doesn’t define who I am. I like music, I like playing the guitar, I like bands, I like the colour yellow, I like chocolate… I don’t like them because I have OCD. I like them because I am Emma"

So here's a question I'm throwing out there - taking into account that even those with something chronic can create coping mechanisms and a support network that will help them recover from a hopeless place: 

What have you learned from your experience with mental illness? 

Freelancing Fun!

As I plunge into the world of freelance design I'm very aware that I have a lot to learn about being self employed. Fortunately I have a few essential skills which have been helping me immensely.

1. I'm super duper organised - I'm really good at making a schedule and sticking to it. If I intend to spend seven to nine hours a day working on something, I'll do it. I find it easy to avoid the time sucking temptations of the Interweb. I know that if I don't do what I have to do, it simple won't get done. 

2. I love learning new things - I don't believe there are any excuses for ignorance. If I want to figure out how to do something, I do it or I go about finding out how I can do it if it's a long-term skill that needs developing. For that reason Lynda.com is just about my most favourite website ever at the moment.

3. I'm persistent - The people who don't make it are the people who give up when the going gets tough. I am under an immense amount of pressure and throwing in the towel could seem like the easiest thing to do. But then I'd keep doing work that doesn't use my time and talent wisely and continue to feel a general sense of dissatisfaction.

On the flip-side, I have a few 'humps' that have come up. They aren't unbreakable obstacles but they are general challenges I've got to come up with feasible solutions to or at least remain aware of. 

1. I currently have no reliable source of income - I'm looking for design work and developing my portfolio at the same time. I'm pretty busy and I know that eventually, in six months or so, I'll start seeing my workload increase, which will ultimately mean my income will increase. But I'm still in the starting out phase so money is tight and I have to use all my excellent organisational skills to stick to an incredibly tight budget.

2. I need help - Everyone needs help. No one who ever accomplished anything great did it on their own. We all need a team of people cheering us on from the sidelines. I do have a lot of support but a large chunk of it is 3,000 miles and seven time zones away, which makes spontaneous phone calls or hanging out to de-stress rather difficult. The other chunk lives in London and anyone who lives in London will tell you that spontaneity isn't easy to do when the average journey takes 45 minutes to an hour. There are phones, of course, and email and other ways to keep in touch, and I need to make more use of them when I can.

3. There's so much to do! - I love working for myself. I love the adventure of it and the potential. I love knowing that there will be challenge to overcome and new opportunities I've not even considered yet just waiting to pop up. But I have to make sure I've got a solid base to work from which means developing my skills alongside the work that I do. Graphic design is a competitive market and the technology involved in it changes frequently. I've got a lot to do in preparation but the lack of an income also means I need to do as much work as I can to relieve financial pressure.

I know I'll be O.K. because I always am. When taking on a big life changing thing like this I like to ask myself 'What's the worst that could happen?' I came up with some pretty horrific possibilities. I'm imaginative and the multitude of painful scenarios that played themselves out were pretty intense.

But none of them killed me. 

Then I played out the worst possible scenarios involved in continuing to do jobs that I have no passion or drive for. Compared to everything I could come up with that was terrifying about taking the plunge into freelance, the idea of stagnation caused far more dread. I could go into more depth but this incredible comic of a Chris Gillebeau's take on mediocrity by Gav over at Zen Pencils illustrates things perfectly.

Alternatively the best possible scenarios I could imagine about being self employed as a graphic designer include:

Using my creativity to develop business solutions.

Having new projects that challenge me and use my imagination for the benefit of my clients.

Having flexibility in my work, where I work, when I work, how I work.

Refining my skills with Illustrator, Photoshop and InDesign to the point of being an industry expert.

Taking my passion for good design and putting it to productive use, instead of hiding it away as something I would fancy doing but never do.

Expressing myself through what I do - screw work/life balance, this is my life and I should be doing something I'm good at and I love. 

Not dreading the question "What do you do?"

Collaborating with other Creative Specialists in fun, original ways. 

So ultimately, I know this is the right choice and I also know that if I hadn't made it I'd only have myself to blame for feeling trapped in an average job doing average things.



http://www.faunawolfcreations.com/about.htmlhttps://twitter.com/faunawolf

A new year approaches

2013 is nearly upon us. In some places it's already here.

Remember, above the clouds,
the sky is always blue. 

I love the feeling I get in January. The year stretches before me as a blank canvas, full of potential.  I have some goals, some plans and a few ideas in place, but I don't know exactly what the year will bring. When I look back on the year just passed I'm often amazed at the shear volume of experiences I've had. 

It wasn't always this way for me. For a few years at least, my life was actually quite monotonous. I still accomplished things but for a time I gave up on a lot of things - travel, writing, art, the pure joy of learning. For anyone who knows me well I know this is difficult to imagine but for those who knew me then they know exactly what I'm talking about.

I sometimes suspect that I throw myself into so many projects not just for the joy of it and because I'm allergic to procrastination, but to make up for the 'lost' years. It's motivated me to travel, to learn, and this past year, to really work on my writing.

But my desire to accomplish so much can also mean that I forget to take time to be in the moment. I want to accomplish so much and I appreciate that life is unpredictable so I don't want to put off anything I can do now. The result can be that I stretch myself a little too thin and towards the end of this year that's exactly what I'd been doing. I know too, as January and the end of the Christmas/New Year break approaches, that life will resume it's fast pace and I'll once again be at risk of having too much on my plate.

I've made some big decisions for 2013, most importantly the decision to publish a book, given that it's been a dream of mine since childhood. I'm also going to be taking an adventurous trip to Japan, developing my design portfolio (I'm looking for work!), and continuing to submit my young adult fiction manuscripts to agents.

The other big decision of 2013 is for my to do some more studying. I don't think there is any excuse for ignorance in this day and age. With sites like Google or Lynda.com, learning a new skill is at our fingertips and I've never shied away from just finding something out. But I'm going for some more official qualifications and will be studying Psychology and Philosophy on a part-time basis. Not to mention the British Sign Language course I've been in since September.

It does sound like a lot and I know that I am, once again, at risk of being spread too thin. But I'm aware of this and keeping positive and open to all these different opportunities and adventures.

When I look back at 2012 I catch myself feeling a sense of disbelief that some of the things I've done or experiences have only been in the last year. It's been quite a year. You can accomplish a lot in 365 days. 

I don't know exactly what the next 365 will bring but as you can see, I have a lot planned for it. Planning is good, but being able to let go, change your mind and take life as it comes is just as important. I could say I'm looking forward to it but I'd rather not because I rather just keep in mind that I'm here, right now, and if I'm going to live the life I love then I'd better enjoy it as it's happening. 

May your 2013 be full of opportunity, change, and adventure. May you love the life you live and take every opportunity that you can. May you have fun, be challenged, and learn new things. 

Happy New Year. 

The Choices We Have

I am the proud fur-mother to three delightful cats. They provide me with comfort and fill my life with joy and love. I adore each of them for their individual personalities and quirks.

I love them unconditionally. They bring home smaller creatures they have caught, sometimes still alive, at inconvenient times like 3am, when I'd rather be sleeping. They track mud into the house and leave crumbs in my bedding and fluff all over everything I own. They occasionally claw the carpet or the furniture. 

These things do not bother me for two important reasons: 

1. I adore having fur-children, the company they provide and the delight I feel when I spend time with them. 

2. They are cats and it is in a cat's nature to kill small things, run around outside, roll in dirt, shed fur and claw things. They cannot help how they were made and having a cat is a choice I made and one I made because of the reasons listed in reason #1. 

In short, you can't get angry at a kitten for being a kitten. 

I've written on this subject before but I felt like revisiting it for a few reasons. 

I believe that the world is made better through the practice of compassion and that compassion is found through empathy - our ability to understand someone else's experience regardless of our own. 

I also believe that we do the best we can with what we know. Therefore, it's not unreasonable to apply the thought that you 'can't get angry at a kitten for being a kitten' to your neighbour, or that terrible driver who cut you off, or a random stranger on the tube. 

I want to be very clear, however, that I am not excusing ill behaviour. If someone causes us pain, physically or emotionally, their actions are still not deemed "O.K." purely because they didn't know any better. Their lack of skill is not an excuse - but it is a reason. 

I spend a lot of time thinking about this because it's so very easy for us to judge a person by their actions without seeing the many experiences and consequences which led them to behave the way they do. If I'm ever struggling in this department I like to keep this phrase in mind: 

No one does anything because they want to feel worse. 

Human beings don't like suffering. This is a plain fact of life. When we look around us we can see proof of it all over the place. We care a lot about what other people think of us. We care about our health. We want to be comfortable, safe, warm, full, and happy. We strive for it. 

So when someone does something which we might find offensive, appalling, or downright mean, remember: They're not trying to make themselves feel worse. They're just not going about making themselves feeling better in a particularly effective way. 

The choice we have is how we choose to act in the face of 'a kitten just being a kitten'. We might not be able to change how someone else chooses to behave but we always have a choice when it comes to our own behaviour as long as we are paying attention. To pay attention means to recognise when something isn't particularly resourceful or effective. 

If an action, a phrase or a particular behaviour is going to make a situation worse or perpetuate an already difficult situation, we have the choice to change our own response. It's not an easy task but it's definitely worth doing if it means we become better able to handle the general bumps of life. 

What do you think? Can you think of a particular time when you were able to change your own way of thinking or behaving so that a difficult situation could be resolved or diffused? 

Please comment below! 

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

Falling

Have you ever had the rug pulled out from under you?

I certainly have. It's terrifying, isn't it? You're going along, living your life as you expected you would, looking into a future you've had planned out for some time when suddenly you get blind-sided. You find yourself tumbling forward into an abyss which seems bottomless. You reach out to catch something or someone, anything at all to stop the downward plunge, only to find that there is nothing in reach.

It is terrifying. But it's also a brilliant place to be.

When life takes you by surprise - delivers the unexpected - it's an opportunity for growth. Sometimes it might be a small thing like your car breaking down on a busy road on the way to work. This is a chance to practice patience. To see how resourceful you can be in a stressful situation, test your ability to solve the issue at hand, to be patient with the inconvenience, to accept that some things will be beyond your control.

Sometimes it's going to be significantly larger. Your partner of several years leaves you. Your employer makes you redundant. You're in a skiing accident which leaves both your legs in full casts.

Everything is unhinged and any plans or expectations you had for the future will suddenly be uncertain, or impossible. These situations can be upsetting, challenging and difficult but they are not without benefit.

Life will always have difficulties - this is an unarguable fact. How we choose to respond in the face of the unavoidable is entirely up to us.

When life takes us on unexpected and unplanned turns it's an opportunity to open up to more choices, to see things from a different perspective, or to change the way we think.

It's also a wonderful way to see our strengths. When we are challenged we get to see where we need to do more work, but we can also see where we are incredibly strong, resilient or skilled.

The choice of how we respond is always ours. We can take our circumstances in stride or we can wallow. Personally, wallowing just makes me feel a bit gross. I might have a few sympathetic shoulder pats from the occasional person who will listen to me whinge, but int he long term I won't feel any better and will probably end up making myself feel worse in the long run than I did initially.

I've come to love falling. Not that I go looking for adversity but I'm not afraid to take a step into the unknown. That would be why I decided to move to London nearly three years ago. I didn't have a set idea of what would happen but I was willing to find out. Believe me, it has been an incredible adventure and one I wouldn't change for the world.

Ready to take the leap yourself? www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

Meditation - Getting to know yourself

I've been practicing meditation for five years now and I am a firm believer in its benefits. I don't believe you have to identify with a particular religious or spiritual sect in order to meditate and appreciate what meditation can do for you, but I do think it's important to understand what meditation means. To do this it's a good idea to seek out different teachings an teachers to gain a stronger understanding.

In recent years the psychoanalytical world has taken a keen interest in meditation as the benefits of the practice have been observed for centuries. Through meditation people have solved issues with anxiety, depression, addiction, chronic pain and countless other ailments which tend to hinder a human being from embracing life to the fullest. As medical professionals have taken an interest, so too have the public. A growing number of people are reading the works of Pema Chodron, Sharon Salzberg and Eckhart Tolle. Audio books, CDs and YouTube all offer multiple guided meditation practices of varying sorts.

Yet I find there are often misconceptions when it comes to the nature of meditation and a meditative state. 

MYTH: Meditation is relaxing - Anyone who has done any amount of meditation knows this isn't true. The actual act of sitting still and focusing on the breath is a challenge. Our bodies can grow uncomfortable and weary even when our posture is right. Our minds are also a general whirlwind. Thoughts arise on their own and the act of 'not thinking' is far more challenging than most realise.

In fact, to meditate well, one must create a sense of relaxation prior to sitting. It is a good practice to allow some time - five minutes even - before sitting down to meditate to come into your body and relax your mind. Repeating phrases such as, "I am here now, and nothing needs to be done" or taking five to ten deep, deliberate breaths, are great ways to calm the mind and body and prepare for meditation. 

MYTH: Meditation is blissful - Meditation is a practice done to cultivate wisdom. We meditate to focus the mind and in doing so gain a more resourceful state. A resourceful state is merely a state in which we are able to act effectively, rather than irrationally or with strong emotion. A resourceful state is any state in which we can perform at our best. 

When we meditate we focus the mind and experience the state we are in at that very moment. We free ourselves from the distraction of the past or the future or any story lines we may be holding onto. In any given moment we could be experiencing a range of feelings from calm to anxious, happiness to anger. Meditation allows us to sit with our experience rather than being averse to it or clinging to it. 

For anyone who has ever sat with their anxiety, anger, sadness or any other feeling commonly referred to as 'bad', the feeling is not one of bliss. It can actually be quite scary to sit with an emotion which makes us uncomfortable but in doing so we can recognise that emotions are as fleeting as our thoughts. They come and go, ebb and flow, just like the tides.

MYTH: Meditation will 'fix' you - I don't believe that people are broken. People can be confused, oblivious, in turmoil, struggling, frustrated, neurotic and so on, but these states are not broken states. They are simply unresourceful states which can make life seem challenging to lead. 

The purpose of meditation is not to 'repair' anything but to learn to accept what is. Meditation is an exploration of the self. 

Many of us, myself included, do whatever we can to ignore or avoid the things about ourselves which we don't like. We can use any manner of distraction. I used to throw myself into work or into 'fixing' other people in order to avoid working on my own stuff. Through meditation I became acutely aware of this fact.

At first, seeing ourselves for who we are and all the things we do, even the things we are averse to, is actually quite disheartening. It can be crushing to our spirit to think that we are not put-together, well-adjusted beings.

But meditation is not about just being able to see where we are still growing or in need of change, it's about embracing the fact that we are flawed. Until we obtain enlightenment we will always be flawed but our flaws are part of us just like anything else. They do not define us but they do contribute to who we are as individuals.

Meditation allows us to make friends with ourselves, warts and all, and in doing so learn to let go of those things which are not beneficial to our growth. 


These are only three misconceptions about meditation practice, but three which I have encountered most often. The important thing in all of this is to find out what works for you. Seek different teachers, different teachings and different methods. Until you have found one that suits your own sense of reason, do not settle. 

If you would like to learn more about meditation and how it can benefit you, it's one of the tools I use in my life coaching to help you access your own unlimited potential.

  I was asked to make a contribution to the C.R.O.W.N (Creating Radiant Outgoing Women Now) Project, a blog that aims to help build the self esteem of women all over the world. The entry I wrote was published today so please go take a look-see at it.

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

How hard can it be?

I've got a friend who was involved in a community project to save her local library. They were organising a day to rally people around, boost awareness of the services offered and get people to see why their local library is so super awesome.

They put together a variety of activities, from a storytelling corner to a selection of crafts. They wanted a bit more though and it was my friend who asked if anyone knew how to do balloon modelling. After asking around it was determined that this wasn't a talent any of them knowingly possessed so my friend asked herself, "How hard could it be?"

One of her amazing creations! 

She went online and looked up the supplies she'd need and found an ample selection of instructional videos on YouTube. Soon she started posting photos of the most incredible balloon creatures, from turtles to monkeys.

They are absolutely brilliant and I want to thank her for letting me use her story in my blog because what she did is exactly what I like to do and exactly what a lot of people I know like to do but not always what happens. And I don't mean I know a lot of people who want to make balloon animals but that I know a lot of people who want to try something new and different just because.

The difficulty, and the reason why a lot of people don't, is that we can unconsciously believe that something is too difficult or complicated or expensive or challenging. Without even giving it a go, without even looking into it, we can already make up our mind that it's just not going to happen.

This is why I like the fact that she asked herself, "How hard can it be?"

She didn't decide, because no one she'd asked said they could do it, that it was something to write off as undoable. She figured that it was worth finding out. 

When I wanted to learn something when I was a kid I'd write it down and when I got to go to the library next (This is why libraries deserve to be saved) I'd find out about it. In 2012 the library is still a brilliant resource but we now also have YouTube, Google, Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Linda and so many more resources literally at our fingertips. Type in a question and you can find an answer.

But if you don't ask you'll never know which is why it's totally worth remembering to say, "How hard can it be?"

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

...then it's not yet the end

Life isn't fair. 

When people said this to me when I was younger it would really frustrate me. I took it to mean that they were pessimistic and believed that life was difficult so suck it up.

I think about the phrase differently now. Life really isn't fair. Life is unpredictable, convoluted, intense, random, interesting, confusing, baffling, challenging, exciting, difficult - but not fair. This doesn't mean that you should 'suck it up' or just accept what happens. It just means be prepared. Be aware that things won't always work out as you would expect them to, nor will they seem just or right all the time.

That is the essence of life and it is the unfairness which allows us to grow. If life were fair it would be dull. You would never be challenged to stand up for yourself, embrace change, and take life by the figurative horns and show it that you're up for whatever it has to throw at you.

Life is, however, balanced. I recently watched the very delightful and well cast 'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel'. Even if you haven't seen it, if you've seen a preview you've probably heard the line:
"Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, then it is not yet the end."

There is a wonderful Buddhist story that often gets told about a family in a small village. The mother and father live there with their son, who grows to be a handsome young man. The couple are pleased as it means he will be able to care for them in their old age. But one day the son is thrown from a horse and crippled, confined to a wheelchair. The parents lament his poor fortune, mourning for his strength.

One day a General comes through the village. The country is at war and all able bodied young men are being called to go fight. The couple are relieved that their only son is able to stay with them, rather than be taken away to fight and almost surely be killed.

This is a demonstration of how something which seemed unfair came to have a balance in it. Sort of like 'be careful what you wish for.' But the story continues on. The next situation could reveal that the family is distraught because none of them can work and in the time of war they seemed doomed to starvation. But then it can continue still and because of their son's confinement they are given food and care by the other villagers.

The point is that life just happens. How we deal with it is up to us but what we have to deal with is never predictable nor planned. But in the end, there will always be balance.

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

Judgement

Judgement has a bad reputation. There seems to be an almost intense need to not, ever, under any circumstances, be considered judgemental. Well, I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with judging people, things, or situations.

A judgement is the evaluation of something before us which results in making a decision. For example:
"The clothing that person over there is wearing is inappropriate for the weather."

This is a sound judgement. If it's hacking down with rain and you see someone in flip flops, shorts and a t-shirt you can judge that their choice of clothing isn't ideal.

Judgement is based on reasoning and reasoning is tied into our experience. That means we can make some silly or unreasonable judgements.

"Red cars are terrible."

When I was twelve I went on a road trip with a friend and her dad, who was a paraplegic. His carer travelled with us and the four of us were stuffed into a red van. Her dad smoked cigars and his carer smoked cigarettes. We drove down the coast of California and through to Nevada. We stopped in San Francisco, San Diego, Las Angeles and Las Vegas. It was hot and the combination of the smoke and heat meant I was nauseous pretty much the entire time we were on the road, which was about fifty per cent of the entire journey.

I associate this feeling of nausea with the colour of the car. It's silly reasoning based on my memory of the experience.

Either way, it's my judgement based on my experience and evaluation of a situation. No, red cars aren't terrible. But for me, I have a weird association so I know to be aware of this.

Obviously there can be some really harsh judgements.

"Those clothes are stupid and only a loser would wear them."

Yes, that's a judgement, but it's not a very sound one. There's a lot more going on there than what was on the surface. That is a judgement based in a very personal opinion of what other people should or shouldn't do.

Clothes can't be stupid. Inappropriate, yes. Impractical, definitely. But stupid?

The point I'm trying to make is that we get awfully hung up on wanting to be seen as not being judgemental when there is nothing wrong with making a judgement. A sound judgement can protect us, prepare us, or put us at ease.

If I meet someone who is particularly contrary, almost the the point of it being like a hobby for them, I am able to clearly make the judgement that they are someone I find to be hard work. Sometimes I don't mind hard work. It helps me grow and change and learn new things. But other times I can see that, by choosing to socialise with them, I may be opening myself up to a lot of stress or irritation. I can make the good judgement that I would rather not spent my time with them.

The important thing is to remember that when we make a judgement it comes from a place of moral ground and personal belief. It's about you as an individual, not the thing or person which caused you to make the judgement in the first place.

When we pay attention to our judgements and why we make them, we can also do a lot to change our own outlook on life. By having more experiences and learning from them we can make better and better judgements, if we choose to. Then we can make healthy, practical and safe choices for ourselves. We can be more prepared for different outcomes and developments and ultimately, be more open to the world around us.

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

Change the World

You may have already noticed this clever Meme making it's circulation on your Facebook Wall or Twitter feed, if you have such things. Regardless, I wanted to share it because I really love it. Keeping in mind the original sentiment behind 'Keep Calm & Carry On' was actually quite significant at the time. In fact, it was 'raising Hell' for it's day because it was doing the exact opposite of what the enemy wanted or expected to happen.

Times have changed and as we get further removed from how powerful it was to keep living and working in a city that was being bombed nightly, we tend to become more apathetic to how we live our lives. I find more and more often that there are a lot of people just towing the line on what they think they should or shouldn't do. I think the people at Papersaurus (to credit the clever creator of the design) are really onto something.

It's fine to remain calm in times of chaos, but what about when things are so calm they're monotonous? Do you ever feel like your life is carrying on almost without your participation? Like things are just going to keep going on the same path and you might never write that book you've always wanted to or visit that country you've always be interested in or paint that idea you had years ago?

Sometimes our lives need a little shaking up. Sometimes we get stuck doing a job we're good at, but we don't love. Sometimes we need to raise a little Hell, make change happen, and embrace the fact that our lives are ours to live.

The first step to changing the world is to look at yourself and how you're living your own life. You can't expect to change the world by changing other people. You can never hope to change those around you. You can only ever change your own outlook, ideas, and opinions. When you do, it can be scary or even downright terrifying. But it can also be absolutely thrilling.

I know there will be cynics among you. There will be those who think it's all a bit fluffy to talk in abstract and excited terms of change and motivation for the better.

Cynicism is given way too much credit. It's easy to be cynical because it's almost impossible to challenge a cynic. But enthusiasm - living with enthusiasm - now there's a challenge. To go out in the world with energy, ideas and passion is to put yourself at risk of criticism. However, it's worth it. It's worth it because it's also the only way you can expect to change the world. 

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

Living the Life you Love II

I'm still on holiday for another two weeks. Today's guest post is from a fellow adventure traveller. She moved from Australia to Germany and keeps a brilliant blog about the experience. 

To Discover Your True Self Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Comfort zones are called comfort zones because they are precisely that.  When you are in your comfort zone, you know the lay of the land, you don't have to concerntrate on much and you fit into the well worn grooves of your life.  It is comforting and whilst comfort zones are important places to have to allow us to rest and recharge if your whole life is one big fluffy comfort zone, you are stifling your personal growth.

To find out who you truly are and what you are capable of, you have to throw off the comfy comfort zone and go and explore uncharted lands.  This can be doing something you have always wanted to do, but were afraid to do so, like taking a drama class or joining a choir or taking a cooking class.  Or if you are insane like me, this means moving your entire life to a foreign country where you can't speak the language and don't know a single soul.

When I moved to Germany, almost 2 years ago I had just a suitcase and a job offer and only knew how to say Hello, Thank you and Goodbye in German.  I was thrown way out of my comfort zone and into a strange foreign land and I had only myself to rely on.  If I wanted to buy groceries, find out where to buy train tickets or navigate the tricky land of German health insurance, then I had to do it myself.  Of course I had help from friends, but I had to build those support networks from scratch.  Those early months were some of the toughest in my life, but through them I found out just how capable I was.  I was able to throw out parts of my personality I didn't like and cultivate the parts I did like.  I had no one around telling me who I should be or reminding me of who I was. However, if I stuck to what I was like in my comfort zone, I would probably still be sitting in a small studio apartment not knowing a single soul, instead of having a wide range of friends, both German and expat and having the time of my life.

Of course, not everyone is going to get such a life changing experience that will allow them to basically reinvent themselves.  However, you can stretch yourself and test your limits by getting out of your comfort zone.  By doing something you have previously been afraid to do, you find out just what you are capable of.  By joining a new social group based on a common interest, you get to explore part of yourself you might have kept hidden through fear of ridicule or people expecting you to act a certain way.  Also, you never know who you might meet and what impact they will have on your life.  One of my mottos is that you can never have too many friends and you never know if the next person you meet will be someone who will change your life for the better.

Get out of your comfort zone.  Explore your city like you are a new arrival rather than a long-term resident.  Gather up all your courage and do something new, because you won't find out who you truly are whilst sitting on the couch. 

For more brilliant writing from an exPat Aussie, visit: 

http://geekmadel.com/

The Only Constant

I love family traditions. My family is extremely close and as I grew up we had many traditions which I came to equate with that close bond. Some of them were very simple, such as where we traditionally sat around the table during mealtimes, while others had a bit more elaboration, like how we would hang our stockings at Christmas time and the ritual of getting a plate of cookies and eggnog with rum in it for Santa. 

There were also many neighbourhood traditions. I grew up in an inner city community that had the feeling of a small town. Many of the families that lived there, and still live there, have done so for many generations. We were all very neighbourly and connected. One such tradition was the annual Christmas party hosted by one of the families on our street. 

The thing about these traditions was that they were safe and predictable. I looked forward to them fondly because of the general comfort in them. I knew how they would play out every year and I expected the result to be memorable in a warm fuzzy way. 

The Death Card represents
letting go and accepting change

As human beings we do this a lot. We take a holiday somewhere and it’s so amazing that we keep booking the exact same holiday every year because we want to re-capture that sense of amazement. Or we always order the same thing off the menu of our favourite restaurant because we know we’ll always enjoy our meal. Or we buy the exact same make and model of car as the last one because we’re familiar with the brand. 

It’s easy to say this is just fine and dandy because we know what we like and we stick to it, but I have come to learn that this insistence that we stay with what we know can be extremely problematic. 

If you always holiday to the same place then you never get the chance to discover somewhere new. If you always eat the same thing then you never know what other fabulous meal you might be missing. If you always buy the same sort of vehicle you could be limiting yourself to a model that doesn’t fit your lifestyle. 

In addition to missing out on new discoveries, you’ll also start to stagnate. Sticking with what you know, what you’ve always known, is extremely limiting. There is very little room for personal growth and life can become boring. 

Besides that, this stagnation generally doesn’t fly. Nothing lasts forever' can be a great comfort to someone going through a difficult time, but it applies to the remarkable, entertaining, joyful and happy times as well. When you rely on that meal being perfect every time there’s going to be an awful lot of disappointment when its not up to snuff. And I do mean ‘when’ not ‘if’ because the harder and longer you hold onto something the more the universe will challenge you to let go. 

Change is constant. When something is uplifting or makes us feel good we tend to cling to it because we are so adverse to feeling bad, but just because something gave us a sense of happiness once doesn’t mean it’s always going to. Nor should it. And we will be far less disappointed in life and we accept that the one thing we can rely on is that everything is changing all the time.

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

Labels are for food

An entry about labels is likely going to run very, very long so I'm going to focus on one aspect of labels and labelling. I want to share my thoughts on how we label ourselves. 

I think a lot of attention is given to how other people put us in boxes and the struggle we face to break free, but the boxes we make for ourselves can be just as oppressive. A label isn't just a word, it often become part of our identity. For a really long time I was hung up on the idea of collecting labels. In my teen years I liked to describe myself as a blue haired, activist, artistic, writing freak. I wore my label proudly in a two finger solute to my peers, as if having so many labels meant they a) couldn't possibly find room for more and b) couldn't really define me because I'd gone to such great lengths to define myself. 

It wasn't until I entered High School that I started seeing the huge flaw in the labels I'd given myself. I began to see how fluid the world was, how constant change is and how as good as a label might be one day, it may not fit the next. The problem that arises is once you've given yourself a label (like 'I'm one of life's losers') you've just made it that much harder for yourself when something happens to challenge that label. Because your mind is made up and the label is stuck fast you won't let yourself see the positive aspect of getting your dream job, or losing 50lbs, or finishing an art project. You're inclined to find the downside in everything, because your label dictates it so. 

And seemingly positive labels are just as bad. I know this one is a bit more difficult to comprehend but allow me to present an example. 

I have always labeled myself as a happy, positive person so the idea that I might suffer from depression doesn't really sit well with me. As a result I spent years repressing or avoiding my feelings of depression because everyone knows happy, positive people don't get depressed. But this was outright denial and ultimately my avoidance of the issue caused my emotions to push harder for recognition. Soon I'd developed Panic Disorder and then I was a real mess. 

But my solution wasn't to drop the labels, not yet. My solution was to add the anxiety and the depression to my labels. I was a happy, positive, depressed, anxious person. 

You can see the conflict. 

The better solution, and one I now embrace, was to drop all the labels entirely. It's not easy to do and it's an ongoing project, but it's totally worth it. 

Not that I can't be happy and positive - but I no longer think of myself as defined in that way. I have come to accept that you can't define an individual. Change is too constant for that. We deserve to keep an open mind and open heart to all the ever changing possibilities for our own circumstances. 

It's all part of loving yourself first and best. By dropping the labels you open all those little boxes and open yourself to limitless possibilities. 

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

Never Too Late

I sat in my car on the way to work. I was on one of the busiest commuter roads in the city and traffic had been inching along for the past ten minutes. I could see I was going to be late. As a perpetually punctual person (Like, ten to fifteen minutes early without fail) this was the sort of thing that I would normally be really bothered by. I'd already called my manager and let them know about the traffic, but usually even my high level of responsibility didn't stop me from fretting that my punctual reputation might be on the line.

So why wasn't it bothering me on this particular day? Because on this particular day my life was a hot mess. For those of you unfamiliar the term 'Hot Mess' generally means everything that could possibly go wrong was, had and did do. Being late wasn't even icing on the cake at this point. Being late was edible glitter on little sugar flowers on butter icing on fondant on the cake - only the cake had been dropped on the floor.

I had planned out my life quite neatly. I knew who I was gonna marry, where I was gonna live, who my friends were, what my job was, what job I was making for myself and where I would be in the next five, ten, fifteen and possibly even twenty years. You know that silly cliche 'Don't count your chicken's until they're hatched'? My chickens were counted, lined up and categorized for years to come and the Universe didn't like it. 

The Universe was all, "You think you've got it all sorted, don't you? Well, reality check - life is change, change is constant, nothing is forever and you're not a fourtune teller."

In short, as I sat there stuck in traffic travelling to a job I was resistant to working, every single aspect of my life as I'd planned it out was falling apart. Six weeks before the wedding I found out my fiance didn't want to marry me and had cheated on me with someone I thought was my friend and consequently all of our mutual friends were showing their 'true colours' and the house that I lived in was no longer a safe place and the job I'd wanted was no longer what I wanted and so a little bad traffic was piddly squat to me.

So I'm sitting there in my car listening to the radio and thinking about what an utter catastrophe my life has become when this fauxpunk boyband comes on. Like a cross between Back Street Boys and NOFX - like when punk is manufactured and prettified.

Not known for having poignant lyrics but none-the-less, it's a catchy song. Only today I hate it. I hate it because the primary lyrics are 'It's never too late' and I'm busy wallowing, like absolutely, completely and utterly, wallowing in my own self pity. I'm dripping with 'poor me' and all I can think is these stupid little fauxpunk boys don't know what it's like to have your heart ripped out of your chest and kicked around my people you thought you could love and trust. What could they possibly know about my suffering?

So I turn it off and I creep along to work and I distract myself by trying not to think about how nothing I thought I knew is real or true anymore. But those stupid lyrics keep coming back because damn, it is one catchy song. Seriously. It's right up there with 'Hey Yeah' or 'Mr. Brightside'. And the more I think about it the more something begins to change in my way of thinking. Because it's catchy and it's simple the lyrics are easy to remember and as a whole, as simple as it is, the song has got a good point.

At the time of this entire experience I was twenty-three. I know there are a lot of people reading this thinking, "Seriously? Only twenty-three and you thought your life was over? Pfft!"

And you're right. It's ridiculous. I know that now. Just like I know a heckuvalot of other stuff that I didn't know before my entire life was pulled out from under me. I now know that life is totally what you make it and it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with the time you have. Which means giving up on life at twenty-three, or thirty-three, or even fifty- or sixty-three is a bit ridiculous. And yet, I hear people say it all the time.

I hear people say, "It's too late for me to do *insert dream, desire, idea* here."

Arguably, I was only twenty-three when I learned the valuable lesson that it's never too late so it's easy to go, "Well, yes, but you were young."

I was young, but the key word is 'never'. It's never too late. Ever. Even if you want to be an Olympic athlete, you can still do it in your fifties if you decide to take up curling, for example. Ultimately, if you decide it's too late, what you've really decided is it's too hard. And trust me, it is really, really hard to accept that living your life is totally down to you. It was so much easier when I could blame my ex or my job or my income for why I couldn't live the life I love. Admitting that making life awesome was always going to be up to me meant growing up - big time.

But I did it. And three years on I'm living in a place I never thought I'd even get to visit and doing a job I never dreamed was possible and creating things I only ever imagined and married to someone I didn't think existed.

So no, it's never too late. 

www.CreativeLifeCoachLondon.com

The writer and the artist

When working on my tarot card paintings I would often find myself most frustrated by a lack of time. I'd be completely willing to paint but I had to calculate the time I had available with how much I could get done once set up and take down was calculated. If it would take me fifteen minutes to get my paints sorted, pull out my easel, select brushes and get bowls of water and another ten or fifteen minutes to clean my brushes, pallet and bowls afterwards and I only had an hour available before I had to be somewhere or do something else, it just didn't seem worth my while.

I agonised over this on a weekly basis, resenting time spent at work or time spent away on weekends when I felt I should have or could have been painting. Eventually I began to take a more sensible approach and I made the time, planning on it at regular intervals. This worked wonders and of course, having a blog which needed twelve monthly updates was also a great motivator. Whenever I was lost for an update idea I could use my latest Tarot Card as the subject and write about a new technique I'd discovered or the latest bit of symbolism I was working into a piece.

Now that the cards are done I can easily say that my methods of time management were extremely successful. Once I stopped thinking about how long it would take and began planning on making time available whenever possible the chances for painting became more and more frequent and in short order the 22 cards were completed.

With such an incredible accomplishment done I felt I deserved a break before jumping into the next big thing. The 22 cards marked more than my choice to begin living as an artist - they were key in a lot of personal growth and self discovery which has resulted in a huge amount of positive change in my life. I want to mark this with my art gallery showing, which will be held on the 19th and 20th of August.

But in the mean time I've begun to feel a bit aimless - lost without something to fill those spare pockets of time. I've begun to look at my writing more and edit a lot of the stuff I wrote when I was younger. This involves a different sort of prep than the painting did. I can write or edit anytime, anywhere, whenever the mood strikes me, as long as I've got my computer or journal to hand. I almost never leave the house without one or the other and as ideas strike me I'm finding myself getting back into a flow I've not felt since I was in my late teens.

It's interesting though when I try to marry these two parts of myself - The Artist: the sculptor, painter and creator, and The Writer: the storyteller, the philosopher, and the inventor. This conflict in all the thing I want to do, either because I want too much at once or because one single project requires more focus and time than I feel is available to me, is leading me to take serious stock of my life and how I live it. I've written about this before very recently as I've just begun to embark on a really important career shift.

As I begin to learn about Life Coaching and defining how I want to do this and be this, I'm looking at all the tools available to me which have been essential in promoting my creative work. My creative work will never cease as that would be like asking me to stop breathing, but I wonder about how I'm going to use the tools I've got already with the new career I'm creating. Do I keep this blog as it is and just close it - a record of my Tarot series and other art projects I did for over two years? Or do I keep it going but update it with less frequency? Or, and this is the option to which I am leaning, do I keep this blog and begin to shift it along so it becomes a practical tool for my Life Coaching?

One thing I know for sure, making time is entirely up to me. Whatever I decide for this blog, my art website, my editing and my writing, time is a limited resource which needs to be considered with great thought. In September I'm beginning a course and already I've begun a marketing program which aims to give me a lot of tools for launching my Life Coach services.

These are important first steps which require a lot of focus and attention - a lot of time.

To that end I've come to a decision. Right now twelve entries a month is just not feasible if I've got homework (Yeesh) and classes. So this will be the last month in which twelve entries will feature on my blog... for now. I want to thank everyone who has followed and read it twelve times every month. I especially want to thank everyone who has shared comments and kind words about my writing. It's this sort of genuine appreciation which fuels me and I certainly hope you'll continue to follow it as it evolves.

I'm absolutely giddy to see what happens.

Important step!

Today I got the receipt of my deposit for my Life Coaching course. I'm hugely excited about it!

I've never been a huge fan of school structure. I'm a very independent learner. If I want to know something I'll go find it out. I'll read about it, research it, work it into conversation - whatever it takes to feel like I know the subject inside and out, or at least until my curiosity is satiated. For this reason I've not done loads of formal schooling. I finished High School, got that diploma and have only dipped in and out here and there with smaller courses such as the design course I took last year or the writing course I did in the winter.

This course is a much large commitment in that it will take a year, rather than a few weeks, to complete. However, it involves very little class time. Most of it is self directed work with modules and a lot of what I spend my free time doing already lends itself well to being a life coach.

I'm really looking forward to the new ideas I'll be presented with by taking this course. It will mean a lot for me not only on a professional level, but on a personal one too. Learning any new skill or taking a course to enhance a skill already present will always push a person to grow. I never shy away from change, from challenging my own ideas about my identity. Not to say I find these changes easy, far from it. It is looking at these difficulties that makes me see where I need to search for less, where I am extremely strong and where I can improve. And there is always room for improvement.

The course doesn't start until September. Between now and then there's a million little things going on and the build up to a few big things, namely, my gallery show in August (Shameless plugging!) but this is a step towards something doing something else I'm really passionate about and therefor it's cause for celebration!

Breaking The Habit - Kait's Mixtape

Resolutions are hooey. I figure, if you're going to improve yourself, you can do it anytime. I got this thought stuck in my head as I was traveling on the tube listening to my iPod. Linkin Park's 'Breaking The Habit' began to play. Somehow in the transfer of all my music files from my PC to my Mac, several files went missing. I've not re-set my iPod yet as a result and a good thing too, because this is one of those songs that cropped up and made me realise it's currently missing from my OCD playlist.

To make up for having not listened to this song in ages I listened to it for the remainder of my journey, including the walk from the tube station to my house. Once inside I put it on the stereo and gave it three more goes.

Thing is, this song has a really good point, or it does to me anyway.

I don't know why I get myself worked up into a froth about silly things, or why I push myself to do so much when there are only so many hours in the day. I don't know why I gripe about the same things sometimes, harping on an irritation from my necessary day job. I don't know why I let myself get stuck when I know it's my own doing...

It's important to remember that the way we think is as much of a habit as the things we do. I get up and brush my teeth everyday because it's built in as a routine. I work myself up into a froth because I've made it a routine. But habits can be broken, especially when acknowledge them. And what better time to break a habit than right now? Tonight, even?