Everything all at once

Life, eh?! 

The past four weeks have been particularly full-on for me, for a long list of reasons I won't get into here. For anyone who reads my blog regularly you'll probably have a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. Those who know me personally will know the extra bits outside my book launch and the flooding in Calgary and my efforts to do some fundraising through the sale of my paintings. 

100% of the proceeds from the sale of
any of my paintings, print or original,
will be donated to the flood relief efforts
in Calgary, Alberta.
#CalgaryStrong

Anyhoo, the short of it is, this is the nature of life.

I used to be the sort who would say, "When things settle down..." - but I have to admit, realising that life never 'settles' has been a liberating thing. I no longer look at difficult situations as 'bad' situations. I accept that I grow best when I'm challenged and that even the most challenging of situations won't kill me. Especially when I've got loads of support.

This is why I wrote Wise at any Age and why I stand by my belief that I'd rather learn from my experiences than wonder what my life would be like if I'd been brave (foolhardy?) enough to take the plunge and try something new or different.

As it is, everyday when I wake up I ask myself the wise words of Pema Chodron: "If death is certain and the time until death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?"

Watching the recovery and clean-up in Calgary isn't just testimony to the resilience of the people who live there. It's testimony to the resilience of humankind and that, when we are really faced with what truly matters versus trivial 'first world problems', most of us are pretty well equipped to know the answer to this question. Those who aren't are confused and a reminder that no one does anything because they want to feel worse.

We're all scrambling for ground in a world that is constantly throwing curveballs or blindsiding us.

For me, the most important things are not tangible. They are almost ineffable, in fact.

They are community - friendships, human connection, the knowledge that we are sharing this planet and every action has an equal and opposite reaction and what we put out in the world is what we will get back.

They are good mental health - the ability to know what is necessary for my happiness, for my personal well-being, regardless of the situations I find myself in.

They are the ability to grow - to know what I am capable of changing, accept what I will never have control over, and the strength to let go.

I want to thank everyone who has been sharing the link to my paintings and doing all they can to help. Calgary is a beautiful city and no matter where I may find myself in the world, it will always be my home. It means so much to me that people have been supportive of each other and I'm immensely proud to see how people have banded together. I feel less helpless knowing I have something to offer, even if it's not very much (although if I were to sell all my originals it would actually be quite a lot), because at least it's something at all. Every little bit helps!

Canada Day!

Today Trafalgar Square is the place to be for Canada Day Celebrations. I'm about to zip off to drop some paintings with my imager so I can get to the party early on. Before all this I wanted to post an update as I realise my blog has been silent since last Thursday (A whole week!) and you might be wondering why.

Last night I attended another glass class, which I haven't been to since May. I completed a new piece but I also reflected a lot on what I was doing and why.

I've mentioned my desire for an apprenticeship before; the fact that a class structure doesn't fit my learning style and that art school is an expense I cannot justify as it doesn't guarantee me any success as a painter. I do, however, love to dabble and play and experiment, which is why I went to glass class in the first place. It's also why I jumped on the opportunity to spend a day learning from Sadie Lee.

It's something I'll continue to do, of course, but I run a risk in sharing too much of my dabbling. I realise I have a wide range of talents and skills and I also know there is nothing I won't at least give a try, if only just to see what I'm capable of. This is what an apprenticeship and learning is about and as a strong believer that we are always capable of more growth, I assume I will always have new things to try.

But I know I mustn't spread myself thin. As a student I would be given hours to work on multiple things. I would be paying good money to have the time and space to sketch, paint, sculpt, mold, etch, fuse, knit, stitch etc. As it is, I'm a student of my own making in an environment where I am not in a constant state of experimentation, play and assignments. I make my own hours, and often I am critical of myself and how I choose to spend my time. I've managed to put undue pressure on myself to complete tasks. This defeats the purpose and is every reason why I traditional school system doesn't fit for me.

So I'm redefining, refining and focusing. I'm taking some time to look at my full repertoire, what I truly honestly love, what I see as a hobby and what I see as my career. Obviously I've already discovered that my masks and costumes are something I wish to pursue and I have strong dedication to my Tarot Cards and other paintings. Of course, I also know I enjoy design and wouldn't mind testing those waters.

You see, there is a lot for my to accomplish and ponder.

In the mean time, I've finished another painting this past week and as so many of you have requested a print of 'You Are Worthy of Love' I really should go get some imaging done.