Start with yourself

"Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall" 

-Sia, Titanium lyrics: David Guetta

I believe in the natural goodness of all beings. No one does anything because they want to feel worse. We are all trying our best to get on with life and to feel happy, fulfilled and content. For a few people this seems to mean cutting down other people in order to bring them to their own level, rather than working on building themselves up.

If you are a genuine, enthusiastic, hard working person you're more likely to encounter these drainers. They're the sort who will sabotage another's hard work and dedication, rather than getting on with their own life in a positive and successful way.

They're not to be hated though. Hate cannot achieve a positive outcome. Through hate we become embroiled in our own thoughts and feelings. Hate is a little ball which can grow into a massive knot. It will blind us to those around us and ultimately, we will be no better than the subject of our hate because we have restricted ourselves so much.

Looking at it from the flip side, I have great compassion for those who would rather pull someone down than lift themselves up. You have to have a pretty low opinion of yourself if that's the way you live your life.

Think about it: Someone thinks so little of their own ability to grow, change and achieve that they find it easier to gossip, manipulate and cheat others for their own gain.

Not being true to yourself is hard work. When you deny your own skills and talents, you ignore your dreams and squash your own goals, you're putting an awful lot of time and energy into it. Not that living the life you love doesn't require a lot of time and energy too. The difference is, when you are true to yourself and love what you do and your ability to do it, the work is enjoyable. When the things we work at are enjoyable the effort doesn't feel so draining.

I get a great sense of satisfaction from a job well done. I may be tired, I may have had a certain level of stress, but when the outcome means I reached my goal and got to where I wanted, the exhaustion I feel adds to my sense of accomplishment.

When you work hard to tear someone else down you don't have much to show for it. If anyone does notice your achievement, what they're going to notice is that you are manipulative, two-faced and in-genuine.

The challenging bit is letting go of the grievances we have with people who would rather cut us down than build themselves up. Ultimately it's about self knowledge. If you know that you are worthy of what you've accomplished, if you believe in your skills and talents, then the petty actions of another cannot hold you back. 

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