Avalokiteshvara

'Avalokiteshvara'
24X36in acrylic on canvas
Exhibiting at the Oolong Teahouse in Calgary December 1 - 31

I've been studying Buddhism for seven years now - ever since I discovered the very eloquent and clear teachings of Pema Chodron. In the last year and a half my practice has become significantly deeper as I've taken my understanding of the various techniques and actually started applying them in my life. 

As my dear spiritual companion described it, "It's like I've been tilling the soil and now things are starting to grow." 

The growing experience is so astounding to me because I'll have heard a teachings dozens of times before it clicks. But when it clicks the experience is transformative. It's the difference between intellectually 'getting it' because it makes sense versus having an actual lived experience of something. A moment when the words I've read or listened to match my personal experience of the world. 

Avalokiteshvara is the bodhisattva of compassion and known by many different names depending on the lineage. But the essence is always the same - to love fully and compassionately. 

I'm a huge advocate of this and can honestly say that my experience has shown again and again that it is much better for everyone involved to show love and kindness than anger or aggression. In fact, I've often felt like I'm just not an aggressive person so all these teachings about working with aggression didn't really apply to me. 

But here's one of those moments when I have listened to a teaching and heard it differently: 

I was listening to a talk by Khandro Rinpoche. She was talking about this sense of compassion and embracing basic goodness and being kind. She began to describe our emotional turmoil as aggression and made a list: "Anger is aggression. Fear is aggression. Sadness is aggression." 

I considered what she was saying and it was like feeling puzzle pieces of so many teachings before sliding into place in my mind. I suddenly realised that when the teachings are talking about working with our aggression they don't mean 'don't be angry' or 'work with your anger' - they mean aggression is a fundamental resistance to our experience. 

In short, resistance to the fundamental ambiguity of being human is aggressive. 

It can manifest as anxiety, fear, sadness, depression - but it's all based on wanting to get away from what is, rather than embracing and working with whatever arises. 

Suddenly I realised I'm incredibly aggressive! My anxiety has always communicated my resistance, my shutting down around an experience. And now I can see it, I can work with it. Having had this realisation the way I'm working with my mind now has shifted significantly. 

Avalokiteshvara reminds us to be gentle with ourselves as well as with others. We can only have compassion for others if we have it for ourselves because it's based on understanding shared human experience. 

My understanding shifted considerably as I realised that I was no less aggressive than anyone else. That the term 'aggression' is not being used in relation to anger or rage but in relation to this resistance we all have to the unpredictability of life. 

How liberating. 

An exciting art announcement!

"Worthy of Love"
See original

Starting today I am very pleased to announce that fifty percent of the proceeds of the sale of all original FaunawolfCreations paintings will go to charity!

Paying it forward is a great way to contribute to the world around us. I have recently had an incredible experience at the Dhanakosa Buddhist Retreat centre in Scotland. The centre, which has retreats for hillwalking, writing, yoga and meditation, is open to anyone to attend. It's a wonderful space where individuals are invited to connect with themselves, regroup, and centre. It's also a charity and one which I believe deserves support to ensure that others have the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful surroundings of the Scottish Highlands.

To thank them for this space I've decided that fifty per cent of the sale of any original painting I've done will go towards Dhanakosa.

"Guardian" Original not posted on website,
email faunawolf 'at' gmail 'dot' com for details

I would like to extend this to at least one other charity, so if you think there is a particular charity that is doing amazing work please let me know with a comment below. I will be doing research into any suggestions and choose at my own discretion. I am very interested in including a charity which supports youth and providing them with opportunities to grow and learn or one with a focus on animal rescue and rehabilitation.





If you'd like to buy one of my original works please visit www.FaunawolfCreations.com

Self Portrait in Abstract - imaged

'Self Portrait in Abstract'

Limited Edition prints available for as little as $50CAD

Email faunawolf@gmail.com for details

When I finished painting this I didn't actually like it very much. Not because I thought there was anything wrong with the technique, colour or design, but because it felt a bit too raw for me. A damaged canvas gave me an idea for a painting of myself, an interpretation done in colour alone. I could visualise what I'd do almost instantly and throughout the weeks in which I worked on this piece I tackled it with an almost impersonal precision. I was simply getting the image down on canvas. Transferring an idea into a reality.

But then it was done and it got me thinking about why this was how I saw myself. A dark place in the middle of me, something I try to cover up with bright colours, or try to make separate.

Try as we might, we are whole beings. Our failings, shortcoming, illnesses, aches and pains, they're all just as much a part of us as the parts which are easy to love. This painting is about more than just how I see myself. It's what I know I need to work on. It's about taking those dark parts, those parts which feel broken, and embracing them.

It's about true compassionate love for myself and learning to give myself time rather than forcing myself to a place I'm just not ready for.

Now that I've had it imaged I really like it. I love it, actually. I think it's more accurate than I intended it to be and that's something I'm quite thankful for.

Mixed feelings

I got my first sale through RedBubble!

At first this was just a hugely exciting thing because I've been promoting it like mad and eagerly awaiting the moment when that email notification would come through:

You've sold work on RedBubble!

I was thrilled to go check my account and see what had been purchased. It turned out not to be a single sale but two sales. Someone has bought the posters of 'You Are Worthy' and 'Untitled Buddha'.

This double hit seemed extra exciting until I scrolled down to see what I'd made. My heart sank.

Thing is, I pay for my art out of my own pocket and a lot of why I have to work for someone else is because art is expensive. There's the cost of supplies: Brushes, paints, pallets, an easel, canvases, pens, pencils.

After that there's my time, which can be five to eight hours per painting. Got to factor that in.

When the painting is done there's the fact that not everyone can afford an original so giving them options is a good idea. Why not have posters, canvas prints and cards available? Of course this means getting a high quality photograph of the work which can be reproduced easily. This is another cost and one which made me see the reality of why some art is so expensive. Unfortunately a lot of artist undersell themselves out of a sort of desperation and as a result they just never make enough for their art to be more than a hobby.

I want my art to be more than a hobby and I want people to be able to buy it easily and I thought I'd done my research properly and RedBubble was the way to go.

Before moving to London I found a company that took high quality photographs but also provided prints upon request. It meant I didn't have to pay for the print until I'd sold it and I could put it at a price that meant I got a reasonable profit. It also meant I needed to be able to pick up the prints and transport them to the buyer, which was fine when I lived in Calgary and I was only selling to people who lived in Calgary.

I've made myself a bit 'international' and I liked that RedBubble offered the ability to sell work in most major currencies. They also take care of the printing and shipping, which seemed like a bonus. Then I saw what it really means. Those posters have earned me a total of $11.

*sigh*

I guess we all have to start somewhere but this revelation has me thinking that Redbubble might not be the way to go after all since the cost to get those paintings imaged so they could be available as a poster was five times as much as I made from that sale. Of course I don't make enough off my artwork to have the time to make these sort of sales myself. And thus I'm stuck in a circle. The profits from RedBubble aren't enough to live off of, or even to purchase a single canvas with. I have to give most of my time to a job that has nothing to do with creativity whilst also keeping me from having the time needed to commit to getting more of my work sold and more of my stuff out there.

Or maybe this is just the first step. It's tiny and it's seemingly disappointing right now, after a long day in an office, but in a few months time it might be something entirely different. It could be a moment of 'I've come a long way from that first sale of RedBubble now that I've made my fiftieth sale on RedBubble.'

That is the thing about life. We can't really judge what's good or bad until the very end and even then, I suspect we might just realise that binaries don't work and life just Is.