Feels like the whole world should have changed - Kait's Mixtape

"I've still got sand in my shoes."

- Dido

Dido really got it right - I've never returned from a holiday without feeling like everything should be different. It's a bit like the feeling I get on January first when the new year stretches ahead of me like a blank canvas full of potential.

Generally, when I return from holiday, I do have this burst of energy for new projects. I think the effect of doing nothing, and in the case of the last seven days, unplugging entirely, gives me a chance to clear my mind and refocus. This is the first time I've touched my computer since November 28th and I have to say, the break from the screen was incredibly refreshing.

I was reluctant to turn it on, and not because I know I've got a few hundred emails and notifications, but because I know I'll soon be back into the pattern of being online more often than I'm actually outside enjoying the world.

It is winter and once the Christmas rush dies down the shortened days, lack of sunlight and general chill of it all tends to send me a bit off kilter unless I have something to get stuck into. So I'm glad of this holiday and the particular focus it has given me.

I am, of course, working on the final editing and layout of my book so it will be ready for publication in March, but that involves an awful lot of time on the computer. Which is why I've been looking for a new art project.

When I finished my tarot cards many people asked if I was going to continue on with the minor cards to complete the deck or if I had something new up my sleeve. At the time my energy was shifted entirely into my writing and art, be it sculpture, painting or design, took a back burner.

My art is something which has always allowed me to relax and I enjoy it because it's a way for me to share my experience of the world. Music, and in particular the lyrics which accompany music, have always been a huge part of my life. As I thought about Dido's perfect lines which capture exactly how I feel about a holiday (I do indeed still have sand in my shoes) I have been thinking about the wisdom I find in the lyrics that I love the best.

I recently decided to pull out my pencil crayons and give them a bit of a go just for the pure enjoyment of it. I happened to be listening to a song which I feel expresses the importance of remembering that we are each capable of so very much and how important it is to be your own best friend. I like what I came up with and have decided I'd very much like to do a series of different pieces that select snatches of lyrics combined with my own style of creativity and expression.

I'm not giving myself a deadline for it as the deadline of the book is enough and starting in January I'm going to be doing some part-time study simply because I can. This will be my art for the sake of art - my way of unplugging when I'm not on holiday - and hopefully something which you will enjoy too.

"Make a Noise" A4 Bristol board, pencil crayon, pencil and ink

100 Months

Gruesome imagery has never really appealed to me. Not that I am ignorant to the unpleasant things in life, but I have always found drawings of mutilated bodies or demonic creatures to be about shock value. They're nightmare inducing and aversive to my eye.

But when I spotted '100 Months' one day whilst perusing the shelves of a bookstore, I was instantly captivated. The grotesque artwork had a poetic flow to it and I found myself turning the slick pages.

I was acutely aware of being watched by bookstore staff. I'm not one to browse without buying so I flipped the book over and choked a little at the price. It simply didn't suit my budget at the moment, but I knew I'd not forget the title and made a mental note to look it up and order it online when I got home.

Yesterday I took the overground from Vauxhall to Wimbledon, walked fifteen minutes in a classic London mizzle, and collected my package from the post office. I took it home, unwrapped it and resumed my slow examination of the pages within.

I've found several reviews of this book online, most of them about the controversial choice for the author to take his own life following the completion of it. Due to a diagnosis of MS he felt assisted suicide was the best option for him and this work was to be his final gift to the world.

But the one review which stands out the most to me was one which states that the writing in the work was described to be as much a part of the art as the drawings.

The words and imagery, dark and rich in texture, are set on stark white pages. The contrast of light and dark, red, black and white, is compelling. The flow of the art, of the creature/demon/goddess the story centres around is a wonder to gaze on. I was eager to study the images closer, to see the choice of medium. My initial guess when looking at the book in the shop had been gouache. I was trying not to study it too closely, however, so I rushed putting it back. My curiosity has now been satiated.

The entire thing is ink. From fine black ink lines to broad felt strokes for the almost grey pallor of skin. The red seems to be airbrushed, the speckles and sprays almost resembling spray paint. Studying the detail I am convinced that the original drawings must have been on a significantly larger scale. But how large? And on what surface?

I'm not yet done examining and reading this work. I'm savouring it, enjoying each page, the way one creature flows into another, every line seems to be connected and the words weave throughout. It is both fluid and sharp, jagged and liquid, brooding and inspirational. In a word, it is admirable.

Getting inked!

I'm a huge fan of tattoos. Initially I was hesitant to get any because I quite like my body as it is and couldn't imagine there would be much I'd want permanently on my skin. I tossed around a few ideas in my late teenager years, before I could even get one. I liked the idea of a turtle or wolf, two animals I've always had an affinity for.

When I turned eighteen I went into my first parlour to ask questions and was greeted with a less than savoury attitude. I wanted something small and was merely inquiring as to the cost of a tattoo, but the artist seemed put off by me and his response was hostile. He informed me that it wasn't judged by size (A total lie, by the way...because the size of the tattoo is in direct correlation to the amount of time it will take and tattoo artists charge by the hour.) and that my design idea of a wolf silhouette was too detailed and small and would look terrible in a matter of years.

My next attempt wasn't until I was nineteen and the approach of a cold winter was reminding me of how much I hate November. I wanted to do something awesome, just for me, to celebrate who I was. I messed around with designs for months and came up with a simple one for my forearm. I drew it there for three months straight, until I felt naked when it washed off and I was certain it was a permanently altering piece of work I wouldn't regret.

The day I went to get my tattoo I was quite nervous but excited. I didn't know what the pain would be like and I was worried it would be unbearable. Two of my oldest and dearest friends accompanied me on the adventure and I suspect all three of us were surprised to see me, normally a wuss, completely blissed out under the gun. The sensation is truly indescribable and the meaning behind a piece I designed myself being put somewhere that it would always remind me of my inner strength made for a profound experience.

I have since added to my collection and recently delved into a leg sleeve, something I've mentioned before. This piece is the first I haven't designed for myself and choosing to let another artist create something for me caused great anxiety at first. I absolutely love my artist though and she really managed to capture what I wanted in the representation of three of the most influential and powerful animals in my life: A dragon, a wolf and a turtle.

I just had the colour started. The turtle and wolf are complete and in early October I'm having the dragon done. Late November is the set date to finish it off, touch ups and background, as long as time and money allow.

I love the artwork I've chosen to decorate my body with. I totally recommend it if you've ever thought about it. take your time to choose something meaningful and beautiful and choose an artist you know will do the best representation of what you'd like, but totally take the plunge.