What happiness looks like

I often take photos of the things which stop my mind. These are things that give me reason to pause and wonder at the world. My phone is full of them. Sometimes I won't take a photo and instead do the Buddhist practice of dedicating the wonder and beauty. But I like the photos because they're like little reminders to me and they give me something I can actually share. 

I sent these images to friends and family, like a gift of something beautiful. 

Happiness is appreciating the world, our part in it, and all these images of wonder that surround us every day. 

The Art of Happiness

I'm up to twelve books read so far in 2014 - lagging behind my dad by quite a few unfortunately. He's had a few flights for work to his advantage. 

Still! I press on. 

Today's review is:

Not actually written by the Dalai Lama, this book is a compilation of conversations Howard Cutler had with the spiritual leader. I've wanted to read it for a long time as Pema Chodron often refers to tidbits from it in her talks. 

I think what I appreciate most about this is how the Dalai Lama shares his insights so openly, with a total lack of spiritual materialism. To give that some context, in case the phrase doesn't automatically make sense to you, 'spiritual materialism' is that air of knowing that someone can put on which just comes across as dogmatic arrogance. It's not really dogmatic in a Buddhist context since Buddhism is non-theistic, but the idea is that spiritual materialism breeds fundamentalism. 

The Dalai Lama is in no way a fundamentalist and genuinely seeks to encourage a path of enlightenment for all beings regardless of their belief system. As he says in the book, "Whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we are all seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of life is towards happiness." 

The idea is that happiness is not a thing but the very way in which we view our world. His way of communicating these ideas is poignant and beautiful, and he encourages use to test everything he says against our own reason. Blind faith has no value and the Dalai Lama recognizes that in today's age those who follow a religion faithfully are far fewer than it used to be. He embraces this fact and even rejoices in the shift from faith as religious belief to faith as general human practice, without the need to believe in something mythical. 

Loved it and can't recommend it enough! Whether you want a better understanding of Buddhism, you would like to understand people better or you just want some good common sense to read, this is a lovely book. 

100 Happy Days

I'd like to thank Lyn from lynbree photography for twigging me onto 100 Happy Days in her recent Friday Flash blog post.

I believe we get really hung up on the definition of happiness in Western culture. I know I used to have a very different understanding of what it meant to be happy. I confused happiness with an easy life, things always going my way and no one around me ever hurting. I saw happiness as this sort of blissful state of joyful giddiness, almost. Something to be clung to that seemed forever in short supply for it's fleeting nature.

The shift in my perspective has been ongoing for several years. It started when I was in my late teens and has been evolving ever since. I've come to appreciate that life is not fixable. There is no 'pause' button and therefore the idea of 'everything settling down' at some point is absurd because that implies we can somehow control external circumstances.

Happiness is not the perfect job or the ideal partner or the best holiday. Happiness is a state of mind and one which can exist regardless of the external. I think perhaps a better word to use than 'happiness' would be 'contentment'.

After reading Lyn's blog I reflected on how I generate this sense of ease in my own life - this sense of joy for the very fact that I am alive.

I fixed the tire on my bike, patching a hole and reassembling the whole thing. I am grateful for my ability to learn and retain a skill like this, the independence it gives me. 

As I was working on this my darling fur-child jumped up on my back, placing her paws upon my head as she perched to look around. I felt joy at the companionship, the pure delight in having such a sweet cat and how wonderful she is to watch as she curiously explores the world around her. 

Later, once my bike was fixed, I went for a walk. The sun was breaking through the cloud periodically. I am grateful that I live somewhere with so many green spaces nearby. On this particular walk I went to the cemetery just up the road.

The sun was warm on my back as I wandered the lanes weaving their way through the graves. I paused to look at one marked as that of a 90 year old, the ground planted with rosemary and thyme. Next to it, a smaller grave, the birth date and death date being one and the same. The grass behind these graves was full of the thicker, darker leaves of daffodils beginning to poke through.


I am grateful for love - the love of parents who never got to know their child beyond a fleeting moment and the love of a family who planted herbs for someone who was with them for longer than most. 

Anything that might be going on in our lives at any given moment - any pain and hurt we may be experiencing - there is happiness to be found in our abilities; our dexterity, our sight, our mobility if we have it.

There is happiness to be found in watching the life around us; the animal who we are lucky enough to have as companions for however long that may be.

There is happiness to be found in knowing that even if there are clouds the sky is vast and open and the brightness of the sun is always there, even at night when it's reflected off the moon - and that's something quite awesome in the true meaning of the word.

Never mind finding one thing to bring us happiness each day - each day offers a hundred happy moments if you know how to look. 

Ineffable

Ineffable - Something that cannot be described in words. 

Since I can remember I have written. I have filled over 40 journals since the age of six. I have completed seven manuscripts, including one last November during National Novel Writing Month. I have always been and always will be a writer. 

Telling me to keep writing is like reminding me to breath. 

To be a published author has been my dream. It has been the only thing I've consistently wanted since the age of five. 

Today the proof copy of my first published book was waiting for me when I got home. 

Follow your dreams. Turn them into goals. Make them real. 

The feeling is ineffable but you'll know it when it happens to you. 

Holding my very first published book for the very first time

No idea how amazing it is to see my name on the spine

Fully illustrated and laid out with much care over the past few months

I'm extremely happy with the cover - which I redesigned about
a dozen times before landing on this. 

Living the Life you Love III

When Kaitlyn asked guest bloggers to write a post on “Living the Life you Love”, it occurred to me that while I’m not necessarily living the life I love, I am loving the life I live.

Loving everyday life, complete with work, chores, traffic and all the other myriad of annoyances isn’t necessarily something that comes naturally.  It is easy to love a special dinner, or a holiday, but how do you love a life where 95% of the time it is more about doing the washing and putting the garbage out?  I’m lucky enough to be a happy, cheerful, optimistic person, but I’ve had some tough times and I’m well aware how easy it is to become bogged down by the mundane and difficult aspects of life.

Over the past decade, I’ve learned a lot about myself but the key realisation has been that I am responsible for my life and that I can choose to be happy.

I was a bit of a failure at being a teenager.  In years when I should have been partying, having my first boyfriends, developing as an independent person, I was studying, reading, hanging out with my (admittedly awesome) parents, generally living in my own head.  As I moved into adulthood I continued that way, waiting for life to start, imagining the brilliant things that could be happening.  I had a fabulous life in my head but a pretty boring one in reality.

It never quite occurred to me that I needed to do something to get that fabulous life.  Even as an intelligent woman, I assumed a great life would just happen by itself.  Prince Charming would swoop in and sweep me off my feet (luckily being able to find me in my bedroom) and other people would instruct me how to live a full, exciting life.  I was mired in a comfort zone, where I felt safe, but not particularly happy and definitely not fulfilled.

There were two great turning points in my life and both of them were active decisions that I made. I had wanted to dance pretty much my whole life but somehow had always found reasons not to.  Finally, I decided to do it and it changed my life.  Dancing made me fit and strong.  It improved my confidence, my posture and my social life, as I discovered some of the most amazing friendships I could imagine.  It made me happy.  Even at my saddest, I cannot be sad on a dance floor.  But most importantly it made me realise if I wanted something in my life, I had to take the steps necessary to make it happen.

The second came after one of those days where I just felt happy for no reason.  It was a normal work day and yet I floated through it in a bubble of happiness the way you sometimes do.  As I drove home that night I wanted the feeling to last, so I made a commitment to pay more attention to the ‘good’ stuff.  As with dancing, I made an active decision to focus on happy things. To document them, I started my blog.  Every day for a year I found a happy moment to write about.  It wasn’t an easy year; I got very sick, had work issues, and a close family friend was diagnosed with and died of cancer.  But even on the worst, sickest, saddest day, there was something good and noticing it made all the difference.  To this day, I seek out good things, and I pay attention to them, so that I can blog about it later.

None of us get sunshine and roses every day.  I don’t claim to be perpetually happy – there is many a day when tears are shed or I just feel down.  But what I have created for myself is a life where those days are the slim minority and where happiness is my focus.

For me, learning to love the life I live has been about learning to spot the ray of light that makes it through the clouds and focusing on it instead of the gloom.  There is light and happiness in every day, it is up to us to find it.

To read more of Lisa's blog (Which is very fabulous indeed!) visit:

 http://blithemoments.blogspot.com/