Onsies!

Making progress! I'm still a bit baffled as to how to make the essential thumbnail for submitting a design for review. But until two days ago I didn't have much finished for submitting so I suppose this weekend will be about tackling that bit of difficulty.

I'm quite enjoying this bit of dabbling work. There is no deadline on it, just something I fancy giving a go at. I'm enjoying learning more about Illustrator, getting more comfortable with the program and with my own abilities. I have to say, it's loads of fun. Even if I don't sell any designs, I'm just happy to have this new skill.

T-shirt designing!

So it was quite a while ago that I tried my hand as some t-shirt designing. I'm a huge fan of Threadless Tees and thought I'd quite like a go at submitting something of my own. At the time I had a brief version of photoshop available to me. My aunt, who is a photoshop guru, came over and helped me out with making sure it all fit with the Threadless guidelines and I submitted my design.

It didn't even get considered. The immediate response was "Go back and try again. Re-read our guidelines."

I shrugged it off and wrote it up to not having a full version of photoshop nor a full grasp of the program and how to use it.

Well now I've taken my design course, have the swish CS5 Illustrator, Photoshop, InDesign and Flash and no good excuse not to work on some designs again. I've just been playing around for now, testing the waters and getting a feel for the specs of Threadless design.

Here is my first mock-up. It needs a bit more work but for two hours of mucking about I'm quite pleased with the result!
I've got a few other ideas I'm batting around in my head. I'm going to get on with them in the next few weeks, as a distraction from all my gallery plans when they start to feel a bit overwhelming.

It's nice to have little projects to dabble in.

Haiku

Lay upon my leg

sweetest little muse of mine

sleeping while I write

The Next Big Thing

The past few weeks I've been working on my final three tarot cards in turn - The Chariot, Justice and The Wheel of Fortune. I usually split my time between two each time I set up to paint. Sometimes I focus more heavily on one for a few days, sometimes I add bits to all three. Either way, the progress is showing and I'm beginning to think about my next big project.

My followers and fans seem to be in the same mind-set, asking me what I plan to do next, hence this entry.

For just over two years I have endeavoured to complete the major arcana of a tarot deck in my own design on 24X36 inch canvases. I have worked on other pieces, such as my Buddha paintings and Dragon a Day project (I'll always dabble and potter and play), but this has been the all consuming thing on my mind as I go about my days. Not having it there doesn't worry me at all. The end of something is always the start of something new and we cannot hope to grow if we do not change our passions and focus.

Of course, sometimes it's about renewing an old passion, or a passion that has always been there but for whatever reason - fear, apprehension, uncertainty - has been put to one side as something to do later.

On Monday I attended my first ever course on writing. I signed up for it over the New Year break. It was described as an "advanced course for writers with a completed manuscript looking to improving their editing skills and prepare for publication." I have one piece which has been edited by someone other than myself. I have several other pieces I've begun to edit. I'm not focusing though and by spreading myself thin I know I'm successfully multitasking my way into not completing anything.

I say it again and again. I am a writer. I've always been a writer. But my soul will not be content until I'm an author, holding a published and bound book of my very own creation. step one has been signing up for this course. Step two is to pick one story, just one, to focus on for the next six weeks.

I will continue working on my paintings until my tarot cards are complete, but the next big project will not involve brush and canvas but pen and paper.

Always in Transition

"Most things I worry about never happen anyway."

- Tom PettyThis is Mabel.

She's smiling. She is a Buddha cat.

This is Gertrude.

She's very earnest. She's also a lover of food and dispenser of affection.

And last, but not least: This is Delirium.

She's a bit mad, a bit loud and a bit more like an owl-monkey-ewok-puppy than a cat, but she's good at giving kisses and she knows when you need a cuddle.

I think we can learn a lot from animals. They, just like us, want to be loved, to be happy, to be warm, sheltered and feel safe. They also can't help but be what they are meant to be. A cat catches birds, rolls in dirt and chews grass because that is what cats do. They're very good at living their life as they are meant to and I don't think anyone can argue that cats just don't seem to worry an awful lot.

I'm a very good worrier. I've perfected it, which isn't something to brag about. It means I'm really good at thinking of all the potential things that could go wrong, all the things that I perceive as currently going wrong and all the things that have gone wrong before. I know this is foolish because I know the following things:

1. Change is constant, therefore nothing lasts, good, bad or otherwise.

2. We are always in transition because change is constant, therefore nothing will ever 'settle-down' and it is foolish to expect it to.

3. I am the master of my own destiny and I have the ability to focus my mind, therefore I must give myself time and compassion and remember to meditate.

It's really easy to forget that we're very much in charge of our own lives when so many things seem to be out of our control. I don't think I could possibly improve upon how this fact was put in the serenity prayer.

"God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference"

Whether you believe in a god or goddess, the universe, Buddha, Allah or none of the above, we all have the ability to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference. Interestingly enough I've found it takes more courage to change the way I think about something and the way I choose to feel than it took to decide to move to London. It takes far more chutzpah to tackle my own bad habits of thought pattern than to tackle the challenge of creating a not for profit organisation. It definitely took a lot to accept that, if I'm going bean artist and I'm going to get published, I must be my own biggest fan, greatest support and strongest voice.

Thankfully I have three lovely furry examples. Mabel reminds me to take time to rest and to rest fully in the moment, letting go of all those negative thoughts. Gertrude reminds me about having compassion for myself and therefore for everyone around me, including the trouble-makers. Delirium reminds me to play, to be a bit mad, and to talk when I need to. And as they are cats, all three remind me that it's important to be alone for a while and to take a moment for self reflection.