Either/or ... and?

Everyone has bad habits. From nail biting to cracking knuckles - we all have those things we know we shouldn't do but we often find ourselves doing without realising it. Generally bad habits are classified as physical actions. Leaving the toilet seat up, picking your nose, and interrupting are all quite obvious to those around us. But there is another way we can form bad habits.

Our brains generally have a mind of their own. Sounds funny, I know, but it's entirely true. If you've ever tried meditation you'll understand what I mean. Our brains tend to think even when we don't try. It's sort of like how your tongue will poke a sore tooth in your mouth, despite your best efforts. Of course, if you pay attention to it, you can stop your tongue from poking around and causing unnecessary pain. The same goes for your thoughts.

A lot of what we think and how we think becomes habitual. Our upbringing, schooling and experiences will all determine how we think and sometimes our thought patterns can form habits which might not be the most healthy for us. A great example is the either/or mentality, something which I have a lot of experience with.

I'm an energetic and creative soul and sometimes my enthusiasm hits an 'all or nothing' block. For example, I recently decided to make a SteamPunk themed costume for Hallowe'en. When it comes to making costumes I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I hold high standards for what I'm going to make and I want the end result to be what I deem 'perfect'.

As I began working on this costume I realised that the time and money restraints on me meant that I probably couldn't do it exactly as I'd imagined. Right away my 'either/or' thoughts kick in and I think it means I either make the costume, or I don't. But when I'm paying attention I can change that thought pattern. Instead I can remind myself that I'm capable of making a really good costume in a less complicated and time consuming way. I can also make a costume that will grow and change over time. I can do it in different ways.

So the ray gun which I imagined could only be made by gathering together some pipe, wood and cogs could be made using a simple water gun spray painted brass with a little winding key stuck into it. It still looks really good and will fit nicely with my costume - even if it's not what I first pictured.

One of my favourite things about life is the opportunities we're given to surprise ourselves. When we surprise ourselves by changing the way we think the result can be really incredible.

Change is Good

I’d like to begin by thanking everyone who has shared their comments and ideas with me over the past few months as I’ve been formulating my plans for the future. Your feedback has helped me immensely. I now feel I’ve got an excellent toolkit and timeline for launching myself as a Life Coach with this first step. 

One of the key things that came up was what to do with my blog. Popular opinion was that it should remain as it is - a way to share my creative projects - and an entirely new blog would need to be written for my Life Coaching. Initially I was wholeheartedly of the same opinion. I was certain that having two blogs, two websites, two twitter feeds and two Facebook pages was the way to go. 

I began to look at the logistics of it though and in short order I realised that the time and energy it would take to be a true Jacob Two-Two was going to detract from my ability to do either very well. On top of that, a lot of my creative projects feed directly into my desire to be a Life Coach. 

I truly believe we are our own greatest teachers in life. Each of us is full of unlimited potential and we can all accomplish incredible things with the right tools and techniques. The growth of my blog, the completion of my Tarot Card project, the move I made to London - are all testimony to this. Leading by example is the greatest way to show others that the techniques you’re sharing with them can bring success. 

Continuing on from that, much of my creative work expresses the concepts and ideas I want to share to help people feel empowered to create change in their lives. The things I write in this blog have never been just about the technical aspect of the work I do. I touch on a whole array of ideas through my creative work - ideas like moving forward, letting go, being confident, learning acceptance - which will be themes in my Life Coaching practice. 

I already have a wonderful group of followers and what I write here won’t change drastically. It will simply mean that not every entry I make will be connected to a creative project I’m working on.

Of course I can’t keep this blog and still call it Faunawolf Creations which is why I’ve decided to rename it. So welcome to ‘She Smiled the Widest Smile’ - a blog about living life well, being your own best friend and doing what you love. 

Coming soon!

For the past year and a half www.faunawolfcreations.com has been hosted by Zac and Dan's brilliant foliotwist.com. When I first arrived in the UK and was still job hunting, I decided I needed an online presence with my art outside of this faithful blog. I did a lot of research before settling on foliotwist. They have met my needs admirably for the past year and a half but as I grow as an artist and author, so too have my needs for a website.

My new site will be under the same address but with a whole new look. It will go live in a few weeks time and I really want to hear your feedback on it. So far a lot of it has been built based on what I know I want for it, but also based on requests of my fans and followers.

More of my work will be featured - such as my sculpture and animation. These are two things I'd like to do more of and in the coming months and year I'm going to really throw myself into a sculpture project (or two...or three).

There's also an entire section devoted to my writing - which will grow as I finish editing my completed novels and start getting them published.

I'm terribly excited about it and I hope you will be too! Stay tuned for details of the launch by following my fanpage and tweets.

Costume Fun!

Gosh, I feel like a terribly neglectful blog writer. I keep meaning to update it at least once a week but it feels like the speed of this rabbitty year has really gotten away from me now. I'm busy as anything, but not feeling run quite so ragged. I've just got a lot going on at the moment - which is why it's important for me to do something a bit fun.

Seeing at Hallowe'en is right around the corner and I've been invited to a 'costume-optional' party on the 14th, I figured it would make good sense to go about making a costume. I used to make a new costume every year without fail. Granted, this was significantly easier when I was still in school and living at home.  I had a vast array of supplies and a sewing machine available for me to whip up everything from Hobbes to a praying mantis.

To add to the lack of usual costume resources, I'm also unfamiliar with the shops in London which would be equivalent to where I might have gotten that just right scrap of cloth or that last minute bit of construction paper to finish off a zebra, bat or Spy Vs. Spy character.

I'm also running on a short time frame, which means that I have to take into account that most of my planning, plotting, sewing, tweaking and construction needs to be done after work. This weekend is the last afforded me before the weekend of the party as next weekend I'm going to be in my Life Coaching classes from Friday til Sunday.

I was further restricted by the theme of said costume party being 'Art'. Arguably, I could therefore wear any of my already completed costumes as they are my very own personal artwork - especially the ones with hand crafted plaster cast masks. But I'm stubborn and I dislike re-wearing my costumes. I much prefer to make a new one each year for the sake of tradition and generally just for the fun of it. Perhaps it's due to my love of Mr. Dress-Up or the fact that I have too many ideas to risk missing out on one by repeating a costume. Regardless of the reason, I knew I had to come up with an art themed costume that was simple to put together in a short period of time and with limited access to my usual costume construction resources.

I love a challenge and this was not one I felt was insurmountable. I did some Googling, pondered a few different ideas and finally settled quite happily on going with the wonderfully whimsical choice of building a SteamPunk outfit.

For those who don't know, SteamPunk is a form of art which combined Victorian style and technology with modern day or futuristic conveniences. Imagine, if you will, a steam powered Smart Phone, a clockwork laptop, or a wind-up ray gun. Combine with a Victorian waistcoat, shirt and trousers. Apply some goth make-up or brightly coloured hair, a mohawk or lots of piercings. Voila! SteamPunk couture!

I just so happened to have a new cap, which was purchased for me by my adoring sprout, as a starting place for said costume. I've also got a smashing pair of Garrisons - modern day army boots made in Canada, perfect for the 'punk' aspect of the outfit. I set out to finish the costume by purchasing a suitable mix of Victorian-esque articles of clothing, including a pair of brilliant rust coloured shooting breeks, a waistcoat and a jacket with leather patches on the elbows.

The clothing done, my next step is to accessorize. I intend to do so over the next week and I'm quite looking forward to revealing the end result.

The Universe has spoken...

I am a firm believer in the Universe sending us lessons in all forms. I've mentioned time and again that I'm not particularly good at giving myself breaks. I also have a habit of expecting an unreasonable amount of productivity from myself. This is illustrated perfectly by my inability to push back when I'm getting paid for a job. If someone is paying me I feel as though I should be able to accomplish absolutely everything given to me, even if the time it will take to finish it all is more than the time I've been given to complete it in.

Recently I was given a great lesson on being able to say, "No" to an employer. Not, "Sorry, no, I can't really get to that at the moment" or "No, but maybe this afternoon" but flat out, full stop, unequivocal: NO.

It was nerve wracking but liberating. I said 'No, it can't be done, and this is not my fault' and got on as best I could with the time I did have.

Everything started to ease up quite nicely and then the inevitable happened. Because I'm so bad at taking breaks, because I generally tend to give more than I should, and because I really need to learn the lesson, the Universe has bestowed me with shingles.

I've learned a lot about shingles these past few days. They're not the adult version of chickenpox, for example. Adults can get chickenpox or shingles and they're from the same virus but attack the body in different ways. If you never had chickenpox as a child you can catch shingles from someone who has them but if you did have chickenpox you can't. Shingles are something that you can get when you have had chickenpox - as the virus lies dormant in your system. The biggest thing which brings it on?

STRESS.

Huge amounts of stress.

And here's the interesting thing about shingles: it's debilitating. The Universe has struck me down and I cannot fight through the pain of the rash nor the drowsiness caused by the medication I have to take five times a day. I cannot help but rest, relax, and generally take it easy. I have been kicked to the curb and there I must stay.

It's refreshing, actually. It's liberating because now I have a damn good reason to back up my 'No'. 'No, I don't want to get shingles again, thanks.'

It's also meant I've had loads of time to sit about doing non-taxing things which require little or no movement, like working on my new website. I'm finally getting the website of my dreams and it has been so enjoyable to take my time with it. I've been able to do little updates each day, twenty minutes or so at a time, not feeling rushed or unreasonably pressured to get anything done. I'm really enjoying it and getting more and more excited about the launch!

I've also been writing a lot. This has been hugely fun because I often find it difficult to make time to write because it requires finding a space with no distraction and at the end of a long writing session I sometimes feel slightly idle for not having moved for several hours. Of course that's quite silly because in several hours I can write several pages, perhaps even several chapters, and ultimately my writing is something of which I am very proud.

So I think I'm learning the lesson well and as a result feeling emotionally extremely well, even if physically my side is in torturous pain. I'm learning that there are worse things in life then not meeting the unreasonable deadlines of other people and that I must always, always remember to take care of myself first and foremost.

A New Project!

I know I did a warning post several weeks ago regarding the change to my blog updating routine but for anyone who missed it - I'll still be updating my blog just with less frequency.

The reason for my silence this month is that September has been quite full-on for me. My parents have been visiting and therefore most of my spare time is taken up with exploration and visitation. I've also begun my Life Coaching course and as a result have been doing a lot of business planning and such around that.

But as October approaches things will be slowing down and I'll be updating my blog a little more often. Still not 12 entries a month, but far more than I've managed for September - which shouldn't be too difficult as I think that means more than two entries.

There is, however, a slight kink in my plan to do more regular updates. I normally like to post a photo with each blog entry because anyone who keeps a successful, well-read blog will tell you that images do wonders for holding people's attention. Plus, as a creative individual, I like to show people what I'm working on both through description and a nice snapshot.

Unfortunately my point and shoot has finally been damaged beyond repair as a result of my rather careless treatment of it. The screen doesn't work and therefore, taking a quick photo requires a lot of imagination, guess work and crossed fingers. It's just like using film again!

So this entry won't have an image with it but in some ways this is probably a good thing. I have just been to the post office and picked up a spanking new pair of white canvas sneakers that I ordered a week and a half ago. These are the shoes which I will be decorating for the lucky winner of the draw I did following my gallery show. Since half the fun of designing shoes for someone is the unveiling of the final product, it's probably better that I don't start posting loads of pictures.

My parents are returning to Canada this weekend and in the following week I'll resume my normal round of updates along with spending time working on my creative projects. These sneakers will be the first of the creative projects I'm going to dive into. I'm extremely excited for it and will keep you posted on the progress - despite the lack of images.

Task List

I'm so glad I decided not to stick to my 12 entries a month for a little bit. Clever planning on my part, really. Good advice for life, too: Whether you work for yourself or you work for someone else, be aware of your abilities and the restriction of time.

It's one thing to be capable of something, another thing entirely to be able to manage accomplishing multiple tasks in a certain time frame. If you can focus on one thing at a time you'll do a better job over-all and you won't run yourself ragged by having unreasonable expectations of what you can achieve.

As it happens, my gallery show fell at the end of a lull, as a kick-start to a lot of busyness throughout the next two months. I've got a lot of stuff happening in my personal life and a lot of change in my professional life. This means I'm learning to make more reasonable deadlines and getting used to the idea that sometimes, things have to wait. They'll get done, definitely, but one cannot be expected to complete multiple tasks all at once, especially if the plan is to do a good job of which you can be proud.

It's nice though, in a lot of ways, because I'm learning to relax into things. I'm taking my time and enjoying the free moments I have. Like today I was able to make a small task list whilst taking the train home from a day spent at the Hampton Court Palace with my parents. When I got home I jumped on it and as a result I've now purchased the perfect pair of shoes for the lucky winner of the draw I did in conjunction with my gallery show.

I've also managed to do this blog entry! Which is a little bonus and one I'm quite happy about.

On top of that, I'm feeling quite inspired after a day spent learning about the Tudors and where they lived. I'm using this inspired energy to get these things done and formulate some plans for the future, which I have time for because I made that task list which I've now completed.

So nice when you stop trying to control things and just let them fall into place.